Alcohol, across the border

As every Goan knows well before they can start drinking legally, alcohol in our land is cheap. Hence you have a lot of bhingtas (slang for tourists) coming in with their over-packed cars and fancy jeeps, attempting to smuggle the liquor out of the state. But then, the guards at most of the border check posts weren’t born yesterday. They also want their share of the liquor pie. And chances are if you sport a non-Goan number plate, your baggage is likely to be thoroughly checked. They don’t even need sniffer dogs, their noses have been trained by years of experience.

Now, when you are a non-resident Goan, every visit back home is preceded by requests from all and sundry to bring back alcohol. The moment you announce a trip, people flock around you, rattling off names of drinks they desire. Being one of the rare Goans in my friends’ groups, I was always counted upon to get back the necessary refreshment for upcoming parties.   

So every journey, I face a nerve wracking time at the border check post. Every alcohol bottle is snugly wrapped so it doesn’t smell, and to be on the safer side, I always carry a permit. And, I make sure I limit myself to a bottle or two. My luck, touchwood, has been good.

Growing up a teetotaller (yes, such Goans do exist!), I never fully realised how cheap alcohol really is in our state. It was only after moving out, and listening to friends’ gasps of horror at being told that Kingfisher beer costs Rs35, did I realise it. This got reinforced recently.

So the last time I went home, I went to our (my elder brother and I are similar ‘suppliers’) standard haunt for alcohol, PV Vaz in Mapusa. There, I spent a whole half hour looking at the different bottles of alcohol. From the pretty shell-shaped feni bottles, the little miniatures of Teacher’s and Old Monk to the geometrically shaped white wine bottles, their collection is pleasing to the eye. And I am guessing to the palate as well.

The very helpful son of the owner, the man who mans the always-teeming alcohol section, kept bringing me new bottles to inspect. After admiring the bottle I would look at the price. But with little idea of prices back in Mumbai, besides knowing they are very expensive, I had to ask for help. I called up an ‘expert’ on alcohol and rattled of the names and prices of what I saw. A long silence greeted me at the other end. Then came the response “I love your state”, followed by “Get this, this and this…”.

I did not get this, this and this… owing to limited luggage space. But I did get a comparative study of alcohol prices in Goa, Delhi, Kolkata, Bangalore and Mumbai. Alcohol literally is as cheap as water, you get miniature 30ml and 60ml bottles of whisky and rum for as little as Rs30-Rs60.

Being a regular ‘supplier’, I have a few suggestions for carrying out alcohol from Goa. Firstly, get a permit. You are allowed one, sometimes two bottles with a permit. Without a permit, it is allowed only for health reasons, but then that cannot be proved. You really do not want to be fighting with the police on why you are carrying a stash of bottles, or attempting to bring in your various ‘connections’ in case you get caught. Secondly, carry sachets (you get pouches of vodka and port wine), they are easier to pack. Lastly, get a Goan friend to get the booze for you; it is less stressful and they usually have good taste. A hint: if attempting to enter Karnataka with alcohol, think again. Even the permits don’t work.

If nothing works, then get back to cribbing about how expensive alcohol is here and how you wish you lived in Goa.

Yes, you can also envy me.

Hailing from the land of cheap booze, Joanna Lobo is a wine lover by day and a teetotaller by night