Faking news: Corrupt people oppose caste-based quota in Lokpal

All the corrupt people of India have come together to oppose the move to introduce caste and religion-based quota in the Lokpal mechanism, the proposed anti-corruption body. They claimed the move was aimed at dividing them along caste and communal lines, which they said they will resist as long as there were enough funds in the government coffers to loot.

“What kind of nonsense is this where they are bringing elements of caste and religion into an area that concerns the pure loot of public money?” argued Alok (name changed), a corrupt-to-the-core person. He did not want to be identified for this report, though he revealed that he was a Brahmin.

“I have never made any distinction in partnering with people when any opportunity to loot government funds came our way,” he added. “If a person belonging to the backward castes or minority community is corrupt enough, it works just fine for me. All I need is a foolproof scheme to loot money.”

Alok claimed that his best friends were all corrupt and they belonged to different castes and communities. He further said that the league of the corrupt was the only non-partisan group in India, with cricket and Bollywood coming a distant second and third.

He used the example of the 2G scam, which saw names of people belonging to different castes and communities listed as accused.

“South Indians, North Indians, Dalits, Brahmins, Muslims — you name it and the CBI has it!” Alok claimed and challenged anyone to look into the list of accused in various scams, which he claimed best reflected the pluralistic nature of Indian society.

“We also don’t care if the funds we loot were meant for the backward castes or the general castes. We just loot,” he said, buttressing his argument in favour of the corrupt people’s non-partisan nature.

Similar sentiments were echoed by various other corrupt people who wondered if this was a conspiracy to weaken their ilk.

“This whole business of corruption is based on trust. We trust others to never disclose our modus operandi to the investigation agencies. This element of trust will go away if the corrupt start thinking on caste and religious lines,” another corrupt person argued and opposed any move to introduce quota in Lokpal.

“United we stand, divided we fall. Simple,” he said.
Incidentally, the corrupt people are the only influential group in India that has opposed caste and community-based reservations in Lokpal.

Rahul Roushan thinks he can make some sense through nonsense. He attempts the same through his news satire website www.fakingnews.com