Time for Manmohan Singh to go on a 'counter-fast'

Since everyone and their gated-community grandmother is up in arms against corruption and supports Anna Hazare’s demand that his Jan Lokpal Bill be enacted, warts and all, now — everyone except for commies, intellectuals and other hippies who are miffed that the yuppies have appropriated their candle-light protests — I have an unsolicited suggestion for the government. The best way for the Congress to gain an upper hand against Anna Hazare is for Prime Minister Manmohan Singh to go on a fast.

What else can the poor PM do? His boss is hospitalised on the other side of the planet, probably relieved she doesn’t have to deal with the anti-corruption cacophony. His party is of little help, resorting to calling Anna corrupt or an agent of the foreign hand (to think, all that the party’s finest minds could do was come up with a strategy of maligning a simple-living 74-year-old). And the PM’s government is of little use, as we saw with the Tihar jail drama last week.

Rahul Gandhi appears to be of little help, but that is probably part of the masterful game plan hatched by his advisors. In their reckoning, the government has been paralysed and discredited beyond repair, and soon Manmohan Singh will have no choice but to leave. Enter Rahul. By this time, the people would have been so fed up that he would be like a breath of fresh air, and emerge the nation’s saviour. True, this scenario has a lot of ifs and buts, the biggest being whether or not Rahul will play ball. Indications are that the four-member panel that his mother constituted to run party affairs in her absence, which he heads, hasn’t done much paneling since Rahul returned last week. Rahul didn’t even want to hurl the tricolor at party headquarters on Independence Day.

Heck, Rahul hasn’t even uttered a word on which Lokpal Bill he likes; obviously when he finally takes the plunge he wants to be seen as on the side of anti-corruption, and taking sides on the Lokpal Bill doesn’t help keep him pristine till then. So even if Dr Singh has nothing to fear from the princeling, he isn’t getting any help either.

The PM could probably appeal for help from the number one television anchor in India. Yes: Arnab Goswami. He is possibly the most powerful man in India now, to the extent that the Congress fears him more than they fear Anna. Some refer to India’s anti-corruption movement as an Arnab Spring. Some wish to rename Arnab as Anna Goswami. Obviously, it doesn’t help to have Arnab on the other side. Trying to get Arnab sacked wouldn’t work because even Arnab’s employers secretly fear Arnab. So Dr Singh could either appoint Arnab as his media advisor (which would also rid the PM of his present spokesman) or he could nominate Arnab as the next President of India. Arnab would win since the entire political class would want him out of their hair and in a place where, like a library, no talking is allowed.

I suspect, though, that Arnab would not leave his present job even for Rashtrapati Bhawan. Thus the options before the PM are exhausted save one: to go on a counter-fast.

Like Anna, the PM is a man known and respected for his humility. Dr Singh is older than Anna, so technically even Anna would have to address him as Anna. All Indians have a soft spot for Dr Anna Singh, and part of the current anger on the middle-class street is because Dr Singh was supposed to be vigilant against the Rajas and the Kalmadis on its behalf; but he was not and thus let them down. Dr Singh can rapidly redeem himself as the middle-class has a natural inclination towards him. After all, he’s one of them: he doesn’t want to reform the State or better the lives of the marginalised or even remove inequality in India; he just wants growth and good governance.

Additionally, if the PM were to go on a fast, he would be snatching back for his party the weapon that was originally its own, especially during freedom movement. Just imagine: Dr Singh on a stage, leaning on a pillow, with Manish Tiwari and Ambika Soni standing close by, playing freedom songs on guitar. People would quickly forget Anna Hazare. And what is Team Anna if its resident Gandhian is neutralised? Just a bunch of chronic litigants: lawyers, ex-cops and RTI activists. Their movement would rapidly fizzle out.

All the PM needs then, is an issue. He could fast for the Lokpal Bill, but that might seem a bit “me-too” and thus may not work. His own choice would be a fast for the restoration of proper parliamentary processes for consolidating democracy, but that might be too technical for yuppie protestors. He could fast for Rahul to take over as PM immediately, but that is a risk to his health. Or he could just do what Gandhiji used to do: fast for self-purification, and shame the nation into calming down and getting back to business.

— The writer is the Editor-in-Chief, DNA, based in Mumbai