Shraddha Jahagirdar-Saxena: Embracing the new gang of friends

Why are you always so senti?” my daughter questioned for the umpteenth time on reading one of my pieces. Which made me think, do unabashed emotions come with the territory? Are all parents like marshmallows as far as their kids are concerned? It is just that some show it more than most… and sadly for my two offspring, I fall into that category.

So, a birthday is always the cause of lots of tears — of joy of course. So what if the candles on a cake far exceed its girth!

Likewise this year, when I reluctantly turned a year older, the wishes flowed warmly from midnight with calls from my hostel-based daughter, her friends and my nieces… and a rare hug from my son. The party spanned two cities and more. The ‘party’ in Mumbai was time spent with son, my mother, office friends and an evening celebration with cousins…

As I added on a year, I realised how quickly time had flown. Photographs of umpteen gatherings, showcasing cakes with varying number of candles and bright smiles, adorn the walls in our home. Over the years the nature of celebrations changed — from parties where I escorted the kids to, as driver, chaperone and company, to more ‘mature’ ones that they spent with their own friends — with me as an occasional driver to outings that no longer involved me, except perhaps for permission to be granted and curfews to be set. And often broken!

But this year in a moment of maternal madness — abetted by the fact that Gaurav’s college was yet to start — we decided to troop over to Pune to catch up with Aakanksha and have a treat of an evening out with her girl gang. Just less than four years ago, she had met up with her new set. At that time, with little contact, and very little acquaintance, I had barely registered the new names that filled up the kaleidoscope of her life. But, with several moots, MUNs and internships, her friends became a part of our consciousness. And with Gaurav around, there was room for a lot of ragging and fun, especially when Niharika, Surabhi and Prateeti stayed over during their internships in Mumbai.

As a parent, I was fascinated to see their changing mindsets for they had learnt to cope with the world outside on their own, dealing with daily chores and occasional hiccups of varying sizes without getting on to the parental helpline. What amused me this time was how the girls — in sum around ten — took centrestage. When I called up the tony restaurant and requested for a table for 12, I was politely told, “Ma’am, it’s Saturday. We are full.”

Disappointment slid down my spine and I called for reinforcements. It took just one phone call from Surabhi (obviously gushing about it being a birthday bash and all that) for us to get the required table.

It was an evening of gourmet paradise. I sat back on my own in the crowd of young adults and watched their interactions with a degree of amusement. The group was so well-knit — having come together from different cities and backgrounds — and so obviously in sync with one another that even Gaurav did not seem out of place as he riposted with his immediate neighbours. Soon, Aankhi crooned a number in her mellifluous voice… amidst discussions of which dessert to have. And alas, it was soon time to ensure that the girls returned to the hostel before their deadline.

They piled into the small car as we commandeered rickshaws and reached home. Later, thank you messages flooded my inbox.
That night, I truly felt that our circle of friends had grown wonderfully. A fact that becomes all the more important as my younger one leaves one institution to join another. The old group of faithfuls having joined different streams, it is time to welcome a new lot in his life. For as he embraces new experiences and tests his wings as he leaves the nest, I’d like to believe, plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose.    

— Shraddha Jahagirdar-Saxena, executive editor, Verve, is, in her personal space, often driven to distraction by her two growing ‘young adults’, but she loves the madness of it all