Mommy to the rescue and vice versa

Parents will agree that ‘parenting’ involves fire-fighting to help our children chart their routes through school, college and life, to the best of our ability. Yet, I have often told the children that I do not have all the solutions to their woes, wails and worries, for no parent is born with an inbuilt map of parenting. But we try and do our best.

When our kids are young we do a great deal of handholding by force of need — after all, our babies are too small to do everything themselves. But even though mine have grown up, and I am more or less an observer in their day-to-day activities, when a crisis is on the point of boiling over, I am summoned to step in and douse the flames. Pardon me, if I have got my metaphors mixed up, but my emotions often colour my words.

So, let me share with you some experiences that I have gone through or heard. In hindsight, they are laughable, but at that time hair and BP raising.

Example one: The chemistry journal has to be submitted tomorrow for an examination. And after a hard day’s work, I return to find that some vital information is missing. Fast forward to the witching hour. Son is burning the midnight oil completing it. And, before the oil was lit (metaphorically), I dashed off to his friend’s house to get a copy of the journal so that everything was in order. Come early morning, I wake up to find the boy in deep sleep. All was well. My heart resumed its normal beating.

Example two. I am holidaying in the South and I call up my elder child to tell her what a wonderful time I am having. Only to hear her in a subdued mood. The low voice naturally triggered off bells of alarms. “Mom, my spectacles have broken. Exams are approaching... What should I do?” After telling her to call up our regular optician in Mumbai, I added the weight of my request asking him to courier it to her. And believe it or not, he got the pair ready in a day, and despatched it the next. She received it within 48 hours.

Example 3: A hall ticket forgotten on the tiny shelf under the table in the examination room of an important board examination. Luckily, institute name same as the one child was studying in. Mother spends sleepless night and rushes off to the institute. Copy of hall ticket printed in the dead of night to be carried as proof. On the way mother calls up the board helpline to find out her options. Fervent prayers answered as child emerges with hall ticket in hand.

Example 4: In the second year, daughter leaves for hostel. Within minutes of reaching, calls up frantically, “Mom, I have forgotten my room keys on my dressing table.” Luckily, her father happens to be in town so I call up home and they are instantly rushed across to her, via courier naturally. Thank god for the fleet of courier services available.
Such examples are there aplenty. But I want to pause here and look at the flip side.

Today, I am no longer the young mummy. So even though my mind may still be sweet sixteen and raring to do a lot of things, the flesh is weak, and fighting its own demons. So in this damage control of a different kind, my kids are my conscience keepers. Some examples of the questions I am asked: “Have you walked today?” “You cannot take the second portion of ice-cream?” “Where is your medicine kit?” “Why can’t you go to sleep, I will put the bin out?” “What do you get out of stressing so much?” And last but not the least: “If something happens to you, what will we do?”

Each in its own way expressing their affection and concern, and of course, each making me see red for the moment, but finally each making me feel completely loved. And what more could any mom or dad really want?

The writer, Executive Editor, Verve, is, in her personal space, often driven to distraction by her two growing ‘young adults’, but she loves the madness of it all