What's your kind of kindness?

Kindness is in vogue! It is the latest word or rather a deed, doing the rounds these days. Suddenly there's a buzz about how important it is to be kind and how good it is for our own good etc. Something which everyone is enlightened about, then why this necessity to propagate it? There is no contest that kindness is an extremely important and integral part of humanity, but the fact remains there is a deficiency of it in reality. With so many brutal crimes coming to the fore, one wonders why the dearth of kindness as if some commodity shortage? Kindness needs to be ingrained from childhood, in the form of values at home and in the form of morals in school.

Unless it becomes an inherent part of every individual, our society will always be devoid of it. Kindness to the society is a given and that we should all give back to the society. But like charity, kindness begins at home – are we kind to our family? Although the affirmative answer by most will say it all, it is not enough. People do these one-off acts of kindness and think they have done their bit. Many times, providing materialistic comforts/pleasures is considered kindness which reflects only obligation. Being kind means being respectful, empathetic and nice, by simply giving a helping hand at home, or an ear to listen or to just be available to talk. The reality somehow is unfortunately different. I have seen couples being indifferent and rude to their partners, taking their spouses for granted on a day-to-day basis. These everyday behaviour patterns of couples in long-term marriages mirror unkindness. Unless children don't see their parents practising kindness – with them and others, they would never learn.

People underestimate kindness for they do not realise the positive power it holds. How many times have we seen husbands sulking after a fight and refusing to eat or wives wearing long faces after an argument? Not sleeping in the same room to show one's displeasure is another unkind way which takes a heavy toll on the relationship.

It doesn't cost much to be kind. Random acts of kindness can multiply into beautiful phases of life and relationships. All relationships should be driven by the synergy of kindness. What is your kind of happiness? Being kind? That's kind of kind. Very kind.

Relationship and couples therapist. Helps couples and individuals deal with their relationship problems effectively
sagarika@thoughtcounsel.com