Don’t nag your kids during exams

Board exam jitters are extending to parents, so much so that they are ready to do anything to be with their kids in the months leading up to the board exams.

That is exactly why Mamata Ullal decided to quit her job. She wanted to be with her son and make sure his future is secure. “My son’s board exams are crucial and it is a turning point for him. Work can wait,” said Ullal, adding that she was not able to concentrate on her work either, because of the board exam stress.

In fact, it has become a trend in the city for one of the parents to either quit their job or take time off it to see their children study well in the last few months. “Now I have the time to check on him and make sure he does his work,” said Ullal. Both of them follow a fixed study schedule and Ullal makes sure to monitor every activity of her child.

Similar is the case of Kusuma Kamath, who decided to quit her job as a consultant two years ago when her older daughter was taking the board exam. “I wanted to be there to give her the support she needed. Especially nowadays, when there is so much peer pressure, they need family support to face the exams,” said Kamath, who decided to turn home-maker, especially since her younger daughter too would be facing board exams soon.

“My daughters are responsible, hence, I don’t have to push them or monitor them constantly. It’s just that I want to be around when they need me,” said Kamath, whose daughter will be taking the ICSE board exam this year.

However, educators have a word of caution. Manjula Raman, career counsellor and principal of Army Public School, Bangalore, said, “I get cases, where students complain of not getting enough freedom and say that parents are always nagging them to study. Especially, since they are used to parents out working through the year, children find it difficult to adjust to the sudden surge in concern,” said Raman.

She suggested, spending quality time twice or thrice a week, and helping the child put notes together, and most importantly not being judgmental is something parents should aim at.
It is important that the child knows that parents are there to support him/her. “Things suddenly change when parents are around for the entire day. Though parents are well- intentioned, many times it does not come through and children begin to resent their parents being around,” said Syed Sultan Ahmed, progressive educator and advisor to the Karnataka Knowledge Commission, adding that eight out of 10 kids do not like it.

While parents take time off to see to it that their children do not waste time, Ahmed pointed out that these actually work as breaks. “Children could feel that their parents don’t trust them, and they are not responsible enough, which will be a cause for misunderstandings,” he said.

It best to check with the child if he wants his parent around and show that they are willing to sacrifice work for them. “That conversation can play an important role in deciding what course of action parents must take,” said Ahmed.