Vinesh Phogat elaborated on what went wrong in the recently concluded Tokyo Olympics saying that she doesn't know when she will return to the mat.
Indian wrestler Vinesh Phogat, who was one of the top medal contenders for the country in the recently concluded Tokyo Olympics, was two days ago suspended by the Wrestling Federation of India for indiscipline during the Games, has now opened up about her struggle with mental health and what really went wrong in the Olympic games.
The Wrestling Federation alleged that Vinesh refused to stay with the rest of the Indian women's wrestling contingent and later suspended her temporarily. Opening up about the allegations and everything that has happened in the last week or 10 days, Vinesh in a column for The Indian Express, wrote, "Everyone outside is treating me like I am a dead thing. They write anything, they do…. I knew that in India, you fall as fast as you rise. One medal (lost) and everything is finished."
Fear of COVID
Vinesh also talked about her physical struggles saying that her body is not the same after she tested positive for COVID-19 in August 2020 and she is unable to digest protein ever since. She said that she fell ill after coming back from Asian Championships in Kazakhstan and tested positive again.
"When these things have happened, why will I stay with the Indian team? They were tested everyday for seven days. I wasn't. What if I got it on the flight and infected them? I was, in fact, thinking about them and wanted to stay away for 2-3 days to be sure that they were not at risk. What's the big deal?" she said, adding that she would have joined them after 2-3 days and had even begun training with fellow wrestler Seema. "So there's no question of me not being a team-player," Vinesh further wrote.
Struggle with Depression
The 26-year old also talked about her struggle with depression and why people in India are afraid or held themselves to talk about it. Vinesh mentioned that she was diagnosed with depression in 2019. She said that she wasn't able to sleep and her situation got even worse as she would start crying even when her coach will speak to her in a loud voice.
"We celebrate Simone Biles as she said that I am not mentally prepared to perform at the Olympics and did not do her event. Try just saying that in India. Forget pulling out of wrestling, just try saying that you are not ready.
"I don’t know when I will return (to the mat). Maybe I won’t. I feel I was better off with that broken leg. I had something to correct. Now my body is not broken, but I’m truly broken," she further added.
Humidity and not getting the feel
Vinesh felt that she was all alone in Tokyo and after she suffered from a concussion in 2017, the Japanese capital's humidity wasn't helping and she consumed salt capsules and drank electrolytes to deal with it. She also added that she had also taken on the IOA and the federation as she wasn't allowed her own physio for the game and she had to be her own physio.
"I was reducing weight. I was my own physio and I was the wrestler. I was assigned a physio from the shooting team. She did not understand my body. My sport has very specific demands. She couldn't help me with what my regular physio used to. Last day, when I am reducing weight, am I supposed to explain things to her on how things are done in wrestling, or focus on myself? It's unfair on both of us," she wrote.
Vinesh after winning the first round, lost in the quarter-finals and was out of the medal race. She said that she wasn't "getting the feel" and was anxious and hadn't eaten anything before her bout.
"I woke up with a feeling of vomiting but I could not. I was in pain. There was nothing in my body. Ultimately I did vomit. On the bus ride to the stadium, I called Purnima (my physio) asking her desperately what I could do," she said.
Vinesh said that she took a couple of capsules after her first bout but she still was feeling nauseating and felt like puking. She added that she wasn't feeling in control and was shivering.
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