Rainbow Guru: I don’t like anal sex, but my partner insists on having it. What should I do?

I don’t like anal sex, but my partner insists on having it. What should I do? 

How should I be stern and tell him this? I don’t want to lose him!

Namaskar! First of all, let me tell you — sex — whether you like it or not, is overrated! The mechanical act of penetration is so hyped and has been bastardised and been made a mockery of. Lovemaking, on the other hand, comprises more than just penetration! 

If your partner doesn’t understand this and doesn’t understand that lovemaking is something that is very special to an individual and the partner, then he could stick it into a gap between the sofa! It’ll lead to the same results.

You, my friend, are not the sofa! You have a choice and your choice has to be respected by your partner. It has to be consensual. There is a reason why you are dating him and not a sofa, and he needs to understand this. 

You have to put your foot (or whatever else) down and tell him that you’re not comfortable!

If he’s just using you for sex and is offended that you have an opinion, there are many others who will want to be with you for the person you are, and respect and understand your choices! 

How can you be scared of the person you love? It means you know it’s not strong enough to last! Love should be fearless and so should the lovers involved. Good sex is just an added incentive, in my humble opinion..

(Psychologist and performer, Mr Gay World India 2014 Sushant Divgikar is your counsellor, guide and conscience through the choppy waters of sexuality)

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Write to him at sexualitydna@gmail.com