They say that the English language is steadily taking over our beloved city, state and our country. They complain about shop names being spelt in the Queen’s language, about it being the first language in schools, and about the gradual, inevitable disappearance of regional languages.

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But have they ever really paid attention to the English spoken around us? In the words of Salman Rushdie, it is positively chutneyfied!

Let me illustrate with examples. My house was being renovated, which meant we had a host of workers in the house for long periods of time. There were painters and carpenters, polish-wallahs and upholstery-wallahs. And watching over them all was the contractor. They were around for months! Anyway, the point is, each of these guys contributed greatly to my (and my family’s) vocabulary.

The contractor would constantly complain to my dad about the rabbit and how my building’s security wasn’t letting him dispose of it. I don’t know about my father, but it took me ages to figure that one out. Here I was worrying about a poor little furry mammal, while the contractor was just talking about getting rid of the rubble!

Then he was worried about the adjust fan in the bathroom. Let’s try and make a connection there — the exhaust helps you adjust to the smell (or lack thereof) in the bathroom?

Another time, I overheard the carpenter speaking to my mom. “Abhi yeh bada saolet ho gaya hai madam! (this is now really saolet, madam),” he exclaimed. Saolet? I would’ve never guessed that one had I not known that the chair had been broken and was in desperate need of repair; the fact that he’d made it “solid” again was indeed an achievement!

Next up was the polish-wallah. The perfectionist that he was, he ran his hand over the furniture once he’d finished his job and said in all sincerity: “Dekho madam, kitna smook ho gaya hai!” 

They’ve left the house now. But my lessons in English are still on. Just yesterday the bhaji wali taught me about this new type of lettuce - heard of icebox lettuce yet?

So to all those who worry about English not being an Indian language, how about we look at it this way: just because the Portuguese brought us potatoes and the British introduced us to the cauliflower doesn’t make aloo gobi any less Indian now, does it? A little dash of our spicy masala and even the Queen’s language is as Indian as it can be!