Who’s your love guru?

There’s trouble in paradise, or you love someone but don’t know what to do about it or you don’t understand why you run away from relationships. Who do you turn to?

Many people have a friend, advisor and guide who always helps them see through problems in their love life — the person we call love guru.

The term ‘love guru’ has been used for fun and to evoke laughter many times. It’s a title that is not taken very seriously by many, but it’s also true that unknowingly a lot of us have someone who shows us the way when we are lost.

Some people call in to a radio channel to share their problems, some people call on hotlines to get their answers. A stranger very often has the potential to be your love guru.

Stylist Sapna Bhavnani says that it is the fact that you won’t be judged that makes one look for a love guru in places like the internet. “You can share your emotions with honesty with a stranger. Whether the advice that the person at the other end gives you is right or not is a different question. But speaking about your problems helps in any case,” she says.

Guru means a knowledgeable person who can use his expertise in a particular area to guide others. What makes a person equipped to be your love guru is when he or she has learnt a lot about love through experience and is wise.

Psychotherapist Seema Hingorrany feels that more than a stranger, a more experienced person you are close to and can trust is the most appropriate person to be your love guru.

“An elderly person is more experienced and is equipped to give you good advice. It can be your aunt, your grandfather or an uncle. It has to be someone with whom you can share your innermost issues and someone who can understand you,” she says.

Model Sahil Shroff feels that having someone to discuss your relationship helps. “I am very vocal with certain people who I am close to. You do need someone you can turn to, to share your relationship problems and know whether what you are doing is right. When you are  stuck that other person can offer you a different perspective,” says Sahil.

But she also says that in the end it’s your own wisdom that you have to trust. “People can give you loads of advice but whether to take it or not is your decision. One should also be able to be wise enough to know whose advice to take and whose to dismiss,” says Hingorrany.