The Kangana Ranaut You Never Knew!

She was just 15 when she came to Bombay from Surajpur in Himachal Pradesh. After years of failed auditions, multiple rejections and numerous disappointments, Kangana Ranaut got her first break with Gangster in 2006. There's been no looking back since. But 13 years later, we already know this about Bollywood's 'it' girl.

What is perhaps little known about Kangana is that before she got her big Bollywood break, she longed to eat brownies at Cafe Coffee Day, that she inspired her aunt to take bold decisions in life and that she's as big a fan of Swami Vivekananda's as is PM Modi. Spunky and straightforward, Kangana doesn't mince words. "I am an honest person. And I also realise that many people dislike me for being so." In her own words, then:

Being homeless
Indian parents are very dismissive of their children and their opinions. I don't like that about Indian parents. I come from a traditional Indian family where the women were not allowed to eat food before the men. So, I grew up as a rebel. I decided to move out of my house when I was barely 15. When I decided to leave home, no one supported me. My father refused to talk to me for a long time and my grandfather didn't even want to see my face.
I had to choose between a life that my father dictated, where I would have everything, and a life with absolute freedom. I chose freedom but I knew that the consequences would be drastic. I knew I could land up nowhere, be homeless, living on the streets. Trust me, there was a point in my life when I did that also.

On finding family again
Things have changed now. They discuss family matters with me now and I absolutely love that. They think I'm wise and now give me a chance to advice on family matters. I feel this has happened gradually only after I've proved myself. For instance, my mother now maintains short hair — this was unthinkable earlier. My bua got divorced within a month of her wedding, which was a big thing for the family. And now recently, when she turned 60, she married again. People have started accepting such things now, and that makes me happy.

On being confident
When I left home, I was aware of the huge step I was taking. I knew there would be a huge struggle in life. I was aware of the complications that would come in the way and prepared myself for the worst. There was so much I lost at that point. Amid all this, the only thing I didn't want to lose was my self-confidence. I have always been confident about myself and my talent. I knew that I would someday be a Bollywood actor and that people would recognise me on the streets.

Visits to the Swami Vivekananda Mission
I am what I am today because of his teachings. I make it a point to visit the Ramkrishna Mission every year. I was very young when I started out, and had no support or guidance. That's when I stumbled upon Vivekananda's teachings. I felt that I was getting the answers to all the questions I had. That's how I got completely hooked.

My first pay cheque
After a modelling assignment, I got a thousand rupees. That was my first pay cheque and I bought two-three brownies with that money. When I was modelling, I would often go for meetings to Café Coffee Day where I would see brownies on display. But I never had enough money to spend on food. That's when I would tell myself that the day I have money, I would celebrate by buying brownies.

Bollywood roller-coaster
Bollywood has its own share of ups and downs. There's a conventional format that most newcomers follow. Either you are launched with a Khan and become an overnight star regardless of your talent, or you come from outside and have a mentor/godfather. Then you are tagged a star, keeping in mind the status of the mentor. Or you get a break if you are a Miss World or a Miss Universe, but it depends on how heavy your crown is. I didn't fit anywhere.

Being an outsider
No matter what I do, I will always be an outsider in Bollywood and I can't change that. I don't even want to. That's the reality. People too will have to come to terms with it.

The turning point
A majority Indians consider Queen to be my breakthrough film. Some even pick Fashion, Metro and Gangster. But I feel Tanu Weds Manu has been the turning point of my life. I didn't believe in the script when I first read it. I didn't think that someone like Tanu could exist. But (director) Aanand (Rai) convinced me otherwise. It has been one of my most commercially successful movies. Although I didn't like my performance in Tanu Weds Manu, I love my performance in Tanu Weds Manu Returns. Yet, it will always be my milestone film.

Refusing to do The Dirty Picture
I choose Tanu Weds Manu over The Dirty Picture. And till date, people call me stupid for losing out on The Dirty Picture. But when you lose some, you win some too. I have taken multiple risks in my career. Even though on one hand, there was Balaji and Milan Luthria (one of the most powerful director-producer combos today), I opted to do Tanu Weds Manu with a relatively new director (Aanand Rai), who had a limited budget.

Taking risks in life
I have taken many risks in life. Even Queen was a chance film. I didn't know Vikas was thinking of me as Rani. People laughed at him when he told them that he had me in his mind for Queen.

Getting good work
At one point, I was doing odd jobs to earn my living. Then I joined films. As a newcomer, you don't have much to choose from. Getting a break itself is a huge thing, so there was no question of a choice. Today, that has definitely changed. The best gift that Queen gave me was the ability to say 'No' to a project if I didn't like it. Getting a good film is not a struggle anymore. People know my taste in films and they are offering me great roles.

Not on a career peak
I don't understand why people think this is the pinnacle of my career. They are definitely underestimating me if they think I can't do a better job than what I'm doing now. Yes, Queen was a very different and refreshing film. But the way people applauded me and came up to me and congratulated me was a revelation. Not because it had never happened to me before, but because it confused me — I was unaware that before Queen, people didn't think I am that talented. So that was a revelation. You'll never understand what perception of you the other person has. So why waste time worrying about it?

Opinions don't matter
I have a strong sense of what is right and what is wrong, what is achievable and what is not. I don't let others' opinions of me change that in me. If you allow others opinions to get to you, you will end up with self doubt and irrational thoughts which may not have evidence in the real world.

Business of rankings
I do not know what people actually mean when they say that Deepika or I are at the top. I don't understand the ranking business. It's a new and different journey for me from here on. There will be new struggles for me.

Criticism vs venom
Bombay Velvet did not fare well at the box office and see how people turned against the team! Everyone had their daggers out and was spewing venom. There's one thing called constructive criticism and quite another to be plain mean and nasty. People are too obnoxious today.

Take two
There comes a point when some of your struggles may come to an end but you'll have other mountains to climb. I want to transcend my own limits, discover and explore the depths of my talent and push my career. I enjoy a luxurious life now — I have financial security, property... I have everything in place. But I have to keep the momentum going. Part one of my job is done. It's about going to the next level now.

Director dreams
I won't remain an actor for life. I have always nurtured the desire to make films. So when I was occupied performing the same kind of roles, I decided to learn new things. I don't regret do the repetitive roles because it was thanks to those movies that I started to learn new things. I made a short film back then and would like to make a film in the future too. I have already written two scripts.

Away from Bollywood
Acting continuously can get boring. You shoot, you go home, you prep, you promote, you release and then you start over. So I plan my year such that I can take small breaks and do something new — whether it s a scriptwriting course or an editing course, which I want to take up soon, I love to take mini-breaks from films.