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Quit over-cushioning your kids

Watch out for ‘Snowploughing Parents’ who are on the rise, say experts

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Cushioning your kids from obstacles and failures hampers their coping abilities
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Parents go the extra mile to give the best to their children, do everything possible to make their lives smoother. Sometimes, being overly protective has its share of pitfalls, and they’re ‘snowploughing’ their kids. In recent times, the term ‘Snowploughing Parents’ has emerged to describe them. Read on to know more...   

WHAT IS IT?

The term ‘snowploughing’ is coined for parents who not only aggressively push their children to become achievers but also involves removing any obstacles that may stand in the way of their success. Whether it’s requesting school teachers to dish special treatment to their kids or doing their child’s assignments themselves to score high marks or not letting their little ones deal with little problems on their own. 

SHIFT IN PARENTING STYLE

Parenting styles have changed. Strict and disciplining parenting style has changed to become understanding and supportive. Parents thrive on giving the best to their children and at times end up overdoing it, finding it difficult to draw the line. They’re making their child dependent versus making them independent and emotionally stronger, says clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, Mansi Hasan. Three out of five parents that she comes across, have snowploughing tendencies. 

THE RISE OF SNOWPLOUGHING PARENTS

Psychiatrist and psychotherapist, Dr Anjali Chhabria has witnessed a rise in such cases, amongst all socio-economic classes, especially in the urban areas. “This happens when parents become overprotective by cushioning the child from obstacles and failures. They are afraid that their children will make a wrong decision and thus, try to make everything perfect for their children. What they fail to realise is that by doing so, they don’t allow kids to learn from their mistakes, experience minor failures, and make decisions independently, which is all a part of growing up.”


Allow your children to learn from their mistakes

HAMPERS CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT

Loss, sadness, disappointment, failure are a part and parcel of life just as success, happiness, content and reward. Mansi adds, “It’s crucial that a child learns to deal with positive as well as negative emotions else, parents are actually disabling their ability to cope. Later in life, when children have to deal with loss, set backs, failure or disappointment, they are unable to handle these emotions. They find it difficult to move ahead of these experiences and find coping mechanisms.”

PRECAUTIONS

Mansi shares the following tips: 

  • Allow your child to feel and express emotions like disappointment, loss or sadness. 
     
  • Help them to come up with their own plan to cope with these emotions. 
     
  • Narrate your own failures, losses to help see they can deal with it. Don’t become their insulator, become a facilitator. 
     
  • Take a step down and allow them to feel, react and restore their emotions.
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