How to throw the best party, ever

Forget champagne toned nails and whispering hair tinsel. It takes more than self-sprucing to throw a memorable party ever. Hosting a great gathering is a work of tremendous skill. Here's more than a tip.

The new trail mix

Start with an eclectic guest list. A fun and intriguing gathering of people can rev up your party by several notches. "I have a gregarious mix of CEOs, consul generals, industrialists, young artists... coming home for my parties," says artist and product designer Krsna Mehta, known to host some of the best parties on the circuit. "I look at creating a refreshing vibe through conversations as people come from all walks of life. So I mentally map out interesting individuals to include in my guest list. I try and bring new people and newly made friends. Of course, there is an equal mix of men and women. I freeze the list based on the intelligence and verve the person brings to the party." Connect with your guests through a personal call two weeks in advance for tentative confirmations. Move the conversations beyond simple pleasantries to hover on the interesting, says Mehta.

"I feel a smaller group of 10-12 individuals works well for home parties. I like to keep my gatherings small. If there are 30 people, the decibel level goes up and some are forced to stand all evening for lack of space. It is better to sit and converse," says writer Anil Dharker, famed for his literary gatherings. "People belonging to different disciplines like a writer, scientist, diplomat... bring their own charm to conversations. I avoid inviting reactionary people. For instance, an ardent Trump supporter or someone with anti-minority views. When views of the guests are diametrically opposite, people tend to get charged up and angry during conversations, whereas all you want is for everyone to have a pleasant evening."

Get spirited

"I always subscribe to this: 'Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker'," laughs Dharker. "So I have a nice collection of single malts to get the party going." A well-stocked bar and quirky cocktails play a pivotal role in adding to the buzz at your party. "People lighten up and chill out more, once the drinks begin to flow," says entrepreneur Pooja Hiremath, a pro at throwing superb dinner dos at home.

Icebreakers work at curious levels. Etiquette expert Sabira Merchant, who has been hosting legendary parties at her residence for years, says, "Sometimes to create pools of conversation, you suggest a round of a new drink be conjured at the bar, simply for trial. This really gets your party going. Of course, it helps when you have as guests a couple of dependable friends (someone who can perhaps sing or play a piece of music), some folks new on the social scene, perhaps a diplomat, a foreigner passing through town... A sprinkling of old, familiar and new."

Add zing to the decor

"Nothing works better than a spot of clever mood lighting to liven up a space. Carefully created amber pools bring in glowing alcoves at home perfectly in sync with the party mood," says entrepreneur Gargi Munjal, who loves to host at her residence. "Pendant lights over the dining table cast a warm glow and make the soirees more intimate. As do opaque lamp shades on the side tables or consoles. Even a low hung crystal chandelier next to the sofa can look drop dead gorgeous," says interior stylist Jasmine Jhaveri.

Play up the ambiance with freshly cut, long-stemmed flowers or low arrangements along the consoles. "My home is lined with blooms and artworks, so a spot of skilful lighting sets the mood," says mural artist Rouble Nagi. "I have Frazer candles dotting the space and an aroma diffuser for a fragrant welcome."

Depending upon the size of your guest list, the table comes alive with the layout for seated dining or a walk-around buffet. "Throw in a runner vertically or alternatively use two-three runners in woven metallics across the breadth of the table and lay out dinner plates, soup bowls and cutlery in an interesting mix of fine bone china and silver. Tiny details like bursts of vivid colours in napkins, and small crystal flowers instead of napkin rings rev up the ante," says Jhaveri. "Be bold and incorporate unexpected elements for drama. An unconventional ottoman seat, an oversized painting, a travel inspired wall... add a surprise element. That can be a great conversation starter."

You can accentuate the complexion of your home. Bring in jasmine and tea lights in cutting chai glasses or fashion a unique centre piece on the table... "I once used bird cages lined with flowers and ceramic birds all over," says Hiremath. "For a birthday party I hosted for my father-in-law's 60th, there were empty boxes wrapped in black paper with a spectacular gold ribbon on top. Each box had 'Happy Birthday' written on it. On another occasion, for a sit down dinner, instead of name cards, I used small photo frames with black-and-white childhood photograph of each guest. It added to the fun."

Soothing tunes

And what are the aspects that a perfect host takes care of during the course of the party? "As a rule, always seat a male guest between two female guests. Avoid seating husband and wife together, or placing two women next to each other. Else all they'll talk about are kids, maids, weight loss, tuitions and so on," says Hiremath. It is a good idea to seat people at hearing distance from each other lest they need to raise their voice to be heard. "I prefer to organise a sit down affair," shares Nagi. "And yes, a personal touch is very important. I like to serve food to guests myself."

Music sets the mood. It is best to play instrumental music as it simply plays in the background without imposing. "I like playing a mix of jazz, African and world music," says Krsna Mehta. "This is why in my house, people forget about their phones and enjoy so much at my parties. My own phone is streaming music, so even I am off the device. I always check with my guests if the air-conditioning is comfortable for them."

Fork tales

Avoid having too many waiters around, say the experts. If the attendants exceed the guests, they'll simply add to the crowd. Keeping in mind the preferences, choose an equal mix of non-vegetarian and vegetarian starters.

"Have a greater volume of vegetarian nibbles as the non-vegetarians also eat the veggie fare. Guests usually avoid fried snacks," shares Munjal. Merchant says it is best to avoid name tags for dishes that are served. "I serve starters aplenty and keep the dinner simple. Dinner is always served late, post the constant rounds of starters," she says. "The wrap up meal is a plated hot biryani with tacos and a small bowl of yoghurt. No fuss. I hate the standing-in-line-for-food, elbowing, pushing. This takes care of everything. Then there are desserts like tiny tartlets, baklava, mini strawberry rolls, which my guests can pick up while leaving. They like that, leaving with a little something."

"I have realised that people do not enjoy late dinners. Also, everyone is so health conscious these days. I do 10 starters, followed by an assortment of desserts. Why bother with the usual pasta, biryani, lasagne for main course? My table usually heaves with cakes and flowers," says Mehta.

Before your party:

Invite your guests through a personal call. Let them hear your voice. Then text the invitation, and follow up with a reminder a day before the party
Make the introductions and keep steering guests from one circle to another during the party to initiate parallel conversations
Always see your guests off till the door/elevator when they leave.
Send a personal thank you note the following day.