Have babies. Will work

Juggling work and home has been a talking point for many moons. In her book, Lady, you’re not a man!, Apurva Purohit, CEO of Radio City, writes about the guilt trips that made her want to quit work, ever so often. She found it especially difficult to leave for work when her son was ill, a dilemma  that many urban working moms identify with. In her opinion, “Traditionally, Indian women have always been told to be less than themselves: to talk less, to sit quietly, to be less visible than their brothers. This has resulted in Indian women underplaying their achievements outside home.”

26-year-old Rimple Sharma worked in the aviation industry for six years. Flying two to eight hours a day, with about five layovers a month, she had ample time to herself. After the birth of her daughter, in 2012, she quit. After a year’s sabbatical, she hasn’t resumed work. Why?

“Samaira, only sleeps when I feed her. When my husband is away for few days she gets insecure and sticks to me. She doesn’t like being touched by the nanny. Hiring a caretaker early would have helped, but in many cases the nanny becomes another mother to the child, and I didn’t want that.”

Parents are concerned about kids not taking to caretakers, careless nannies and giving children the right values in their formative years. Apurva too didn’t want to compromise on her son’s upbringing, so her husband and she ensured that they lived close to her parents, though it meant a long commute to work.

Apurva emphasizes that mothers needn’t try to be superwomen and do everything on their own; instead, they should make the most of family and other
support systems.

As a new mother, Harini Aravind passed up a promotion. “With a baby in arms I wasn’t ready for additional responsibilities,” says Harini, who works with the Information Development division, in a leading security company. “Quitting was never an option. In a bid to balance the act, I tend to bring work home and take offshore calls at odd hours. To focus on work and family, I have even given up socialising.”

Rimple feels she has lost her independent space, “Now, I’m thinking of taking an aviation job that won’t require me to fly and will let me return home before Sammy wakes up. I can work full-time after she starts school.”

Apurva advises that post-delivery breaks shouldn’t last so long that you lose the confidence to return to work. Quitting your career to bring up kids is an individual choice, but she believes that women have more to offer than their traditional roles and financial independence plays a critical role in self esteem.

Sanju Iyer, Therapy Lead in Marketing at Pfizer Ltd, travels extensively and hasn’t given up the constant fight against time. She never had to hold herself back at work because of a supportive family. However, long working hours, left Sanju feeling guilty of not always being with Anaya, her four-year-old daughter.

She opted for a workplace close to home, so that she’s available when required.

Now, if only there was a way to shrink her workload! In the end, Sanju enjoys the best of both worlds. “It gives me immense satisfaction to be independent and create so much joy both at office and at home. At times, it’s very demanding, but a job well done, whether it is making a presentation to the MD, attending a PTA meeting, or getting Anaya ready for a stage performance, gives me great pleasure.”

Work and family constantly jostle for top spot, but ‘prioritization’ is second nature for most working mothers, say both Sanju and Harini. And therein perhaps lies the key to balance, sanity and success.