People can find love outside marriage: Author Nim Gholkar

How much did you draw on your own life for the book?

Diary Of An Immigrant Bride (DOAIB) is a cross-cultural tale of assimilation and narrates the trials and tribulations of settling down in a foreign land. It is inspired not just by my own but also shared experiences that many NRIs and immigrants of other nationalities would identify with. The challenge of getting used to new accents, finding the first job… any job to get the cash flow going, attempting to be friends with the locals and uncovering subtle cultural nuances in the quest for social acceptance, is every immigrant’s journey. There sure are plenty of vignettes from my own migrant experience woven into the narrative.

The protagonist's husband Ravi comes across as cold, mean and selfish through DOAIB. Was he patterned on someone in real life?

While writing, I consciously avoided painting a two-dimensional picture of any character which’d make the behaviour of other characters predictable in response. Ravi is as complex a character as most human beings are in real life. We base our empathies/sympathies on what we know and perceive, unaware of other dimensions that shape our judgement of those we judge. Being Anjali’s diary, it’s her perspective. So the reader can see Ravi through Anjali’s eyes or look between layers and form their own perspectives on him. Even then we will be persuaded by whom we identify most with. And yes, there are ‘Ravis’ amongst us.

Despite being the manipulative flirtatious seductress, Naina's character stays with the reader. Do you know many Nainas in real life?

There will always be a ‘Naina’ we begrudgingly admire/hate in real life. Glad you mentioned her character stays with the reader… just what I was hoping for when writing her. I have plans for Naina in other books in this trilogy. The Naina here is a fair-weather friend whose loves to instigate, sit back and enjoy the fun. She personifies youthful bravado and foolhardiness caught in a time-warp... the brash, go-getter who the naïve and play-safes look up to wondering how people like her live a bullet-proof life.

Many Indian writers/filmmakers play safe with their heroines. Even if the heroines have feelings for someone outside marriage, they never take it forward. Here Anjali not only sleeps with Jake but doesn't want to hide it.

Every society plays by its own rules and sensitivities. India is an ancient society shaped by many factors and cultural influences over time. Only an inherently liberal society can produce the magnificent works of art, science, philosophy and culture that India has produced over millennia. Over time the liberal traditions have been diluted, society bigoted and the woman closeted. While to an extent, its gone the other way in the Western world, to the extreme.

In this book I’ve attempted to find common ground while examining relationships through the framework of the three underpinning elements of Love Lust and Commitment. A relationship can exist with even one or two of the elements. And multiple relationships can co-exist for any person. Viewed through this framework, relationships and actions of those within, make a lot more sense. At end of the day life should be about understanding ourselves, understanding others, giving each other some breathing space and basic honesty. We live life once…why complicate it?

Was the book a way of coming to terms with your own journey from a middle-class Maharashtrian home?

Not really. This being my first book I chose to write Anjali’s character as a Maharashtrian girl only because the culture is close to heart so it would be less painstaking. Also Marathi culture does have a rich history of liberal narratives and avant-garde thinking.  This lent itself well to the book’s theme and Anjali’s household.  From the feedback I’ve got, it seems the narrative transcends cultures and ethnicities. Anjali could have been from another Indian community or a Filipino, Greek, Chinese, Lebanese or even Serbian.

Was the less-literary-more-conversational tone of the narrative and the use of the first person deliberate?

The use of the first person was certainly deliberate. I was keen to write through the medium of a diary. I believe a diary, written in the familiar, more casual first person voice, promotes an instant sense of connection with the reader. It’s as though the character and reader are sharing a cup of coffee and having a friendly conversation. With regards to the conversational tone of the book, that is the kind of writing technique I enjoy best. That particular style helps me create a bond with my unseen readers and reach out to them, even though they may be reading the book in a continent far away from my own.

What about the book according to you worked for the Australian readership?

I’ve been delighted with the feedback I’ve received from Australian readers. The thing that fascinated them the most is the whole arranged marriage scenario and the challenge of learning to fall in love with a complete stranger. An arranged marriage is still quite an exotic, mysterious concept to many Westerners and the fact that Anjali questions the true meaning of love within the parameters of a marriage in which love is simply expected to grow is what truly fascinated my Australian readers. The other thing that piqued their interest was the friendship between the current wife and the ex.

How did the Indian publication happen? Will Indian audiences accept the idea of a married woman who finds her soul mate in person other than her husband?

It’s been an amazing journey and I’m truly grateful to God and those around. Getting it published was a lot of hard work, patience, perseverance, angst, hope, faith and learning. I could write a book just about it. Originally self-published as ‘Unravelling Anjali’ it has been republished in India as DOAIB by Jaico.

India is an evolving country with a sophisticated and discerning audience. The themes explored in the book are not new. It is a reflection of life and its many colours. It is about reaching back into India’s own rich philosophical traditions to find equilibrium. I’m confident audiences are progressive and mature enough to accept that in books as in life, people can find love outside marriage. The key learnings however are of honesty in relationship, of accepting human frailty, forgiveness and reconciliation, in a pragmatic effort to foster and preserve relationships, when physical or mental abuse is not involved.

How is the sequel coming up? Will Jake Ellis' and Anjali's paths cross again?

DOAIB is the first of a trilogy. The three books are all diaries. After Anjali’s we’ll get to see the diary of two other characters from the first book. Given how different their personalities are its interesting to see how their stories pan out. I’ll be writing on themes and experiences that haven’t been explored in the first book. As for Jake and Anjali’s paths crossing, I sort of know and don’t know. It’s amazing how characters automatically start writing themselves as I get more into the story. It’s like they have minds of their own and plot their own lives. It happened with Diary of an Immigrant Bride where the story and characters developed in forms I hadn’t even planned. Like naughty kids I had to rein them in.

The book seems tailor-made for an on-screen adaptation. Any such plans?

That would be any writer’s dream!