Dear Sushant,

I think I’m gay but I’m not sure because I’ve been in a relationship with a girl for eight years. Recently her brother came out of the closet and I’ve started getting sexual feelings for him. I think he may also have a thing for me. How do I approach this situation? Should I tell my girlfriend and/or her brother?—Mr Into Girlfriend’s Brother

Hello hello Mr Into Girlfriend’s Brother,

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I know a lot of gay people who started off by dating someone from the opposite sex. It’s probably because majority of the people around them are doing the same, so they feel this sense of peer pressure or whatever people term it. Later they realise they have a different or alternative orientation and then they feel trapped.

The same people have conveyed to their partner (of the opposite sex) that they are interested in exploring and confirming their orientation, and their partners have been very supportive.

Maybe you could confide in your girlfriend about how you feel and see how she reacts. If you are feeling confused or weird about what you are doing right now, you need to talk about it. If not to her, you can open up to a counsellor who can help you deal with this dilemma. Maybe you can talk to her about it after that.

About her brother coming out, good for him! But are you sure he feels the same way about you? Give it some time. Just like he has come out of the closet, you could do the same eventually, if not right away.

Having said that, please don’t act on your sexual feelings for him because that might scare the f**k out of him! He probably looks at you only as his sister’s boyfriend and respects you as such. At this point if you act on your infatuation, he might get scared, confused or feel extremely guilty if ‘stuff’ happens.

I suggest you take some time for introspection and think about what you really want. Take a couple of opinions and most importantly, listen to what your heart tells you (in accordance with what your conscience allows).

P.S. Please remember, your heart is NOT in your pants #JustSaying. Cheers!