At the ongoing Jaipur Literature Festival, a session—What we talk about when we talk about rape—was held.
Rape, the fourth most common crime in India, can leave a scathing mark on its victim, if the victim gives in to the psychological aspects in the aftermath of the crime.
However, this also means that one can come out of it through sheer will and steer their lives in the right course and not being affected by the heinous act.
At the ongoing Jaipur Literature Festival, a session—What we talk about when we talk about rape—was held.
Sohaila Abdulali, an author and a journalist, who is a rape surviver, told her own story first hand and also through her book while trying to educate the people on the issue of dishonour involved with rape victims.
She claimed that in rape there was dishonour for the rapist and not for the victim.
Abdulali was seventeen-years-old when she was raped by four men, her friend was held hostage and the duo were severely beaten up. She came back home to her father who in her words, “Proceeded to be the textbook example on how exactly you should behave with someone you love gets raped.”
According to Abdulali, a rape victim should not be frowned upon, rather be made powerful with support from family and friends and even the close ones should know how to handle the delicate situation.
“Be horrified but don’t fall off your chair that she has to take care of you. Believe her, no ifs, ands, or buts. Let her take the lead, if she wants to talk Ok, if she wants to be quiet Ok. If she wants to cry Ok, If she wants to joke Ok, If she wants to throw things Ok. Ask her what she wants, no need to help.”
“Encourage her to get help—medical, legal, physical mental—but don’t force it. Don’t ask for details but let her know you are open if she wants to elaborate. Don’t question her judgement, let her frame it the way she wants. Don’t try to understand, just be there,” were a few of the ways Abdulali said a situation like rape and the victim’s emotions should be handled.
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