I’ve given up. I’ve resigned myself, at best, to a half-life in a dangerously radioactive environment, and at worst, to death by instant vaporisation.

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If I don’t die screaming as my brain melts into tomato puree in a disaster as avoidable as the Fukushima one, I’m sure to die of cancer after years of ingesting food grown in water enriched by radioactive waste from your friendly neighbourhood reactor. I’m convinced my grandchildren will be born with three heads and fourteen hands, and play with two-horned mutant puppies genetically modified to feed on pellets made of ‘spent’ plutonium.

And not even Rajinikanth can save me from the greed-driven mendacity of our government, our nuclear establishment, and of Manmohan Singh and Jairam Ramesh in particular, both of whom have allegedly mortgaged their scrotal assets to Nicholas Sarkozy and the French reactor-maker Areva, which has been given the contract to build six nuclear reactors in Jaitapur at an estimated cost of $10 billion.

According to Louli Andreev, the Russian nuclear accident specialist who helped clean up Chernobyl – one of the many industry insiders who are speaking out in the aftermath of the Fukushima disaster – the nuclear establishment worldwide is notorious for lying about safety issues. And the Indian one is about as trustworthy as its global cousins, as recent statements show.

When the whole world was tensely following the nuclear crisis unfolding in Japan, this is what two luminaries of the Indian nuclear establishment, often called upon by the government and media to educate the ‘ignorant’ public about nuclear power, had to say, as reported by PTI:

“There is no nuclear accident or incident in the Japan’s Fukushima plants.” — SK Jain, chairman, Nuclear Power Corporation;“It was purely a chemical reaction and not a nuclear emergency as described by some section of media.” —Srikumar Banerjee, chairman, Atomic Energy Commission.

Yeah right. There is no nuclear emergency in Japan. The Japs are evacuating themselves for fun, while the Jaitapur villagers are nuts to agitate against a nuclear plant in their backyard.Well, sorry folks, but these are the intelligent men who believe it is safe to build nuclear reactors in a place like Jaitapur that has had 92 quakes in 20 years.

Study after study has documented beyond doubt that there are umpteen alternatives to nuclear power that are more cost-efficient, more carbon-efficient, and far safer. In 2007, China, Spain and the US, each added more windpower capacity than the entire world added nuclear capacity. In response to the Fukushima disaster, Germany has shut down 40% of its nuclear reactors, and Europe is considering a moratorium on new nuclear plants. But India? India is going to build six more. At least.

I keep asking myself the same question that pops up in my head when I watch the Indian cricket team: Why, oh, why are we so stupid? Can’t we learn from Japan’s mistake? Does it not matter that the British, French and Finnish regulators have pointed out 3,000 safety issues with Areva’s reactors – specifically to do with emergency cooling and safe shutdown systems, the two factors behind the Fukushima accident?

Why are we hell bent on promoting - through massive state subsidy – an industry that private capital will not touch with a barge pole? Is it because nuclear energy offers the maximum potential for kickbacks to governments? Is it because Areva is set for an IPO in June this year and, any threat to its Jaitapur plans will scupper it?

Of course, I am not insinuating that Areva has paid off any Indian politician to secure the $10 billion Jaitapur contract. That’s like totally impossible. When the PM says our nuclear plants are safe, he should be trusted. No matter that he presided over the 2G scam, the CWG scam, and the appointment as CVC of an officer presumably as safe and as clean as nuclear power. Too bad the appointment blew up in his face – an error of judgment, he called it. An ‘error of judgment’ in Jaitapur, Mr Prime Minister, will leave the blood of millions on your hands.

The Guardian’s environment editor summed it up well: “If there were no alternatives to nuclear power in order to light up a bulb or reduce carbon emissions, the industry and governments might be forgiven. But when the stakes are so high, the scale is so big and there are 100 safer ways, it seems sheer folly to take this road.”

But our prime minister, who still has the power to scrap the Jaitapur project, seems determined to ram the radioactive rod up the nation’s rectum. While many, as one would expect, are protesting vigorously, large swathes of middle class India seem unable to feel the pain.  

I suppose it’s the 9/11 inferiority complex. When we had our worst terrorist nightmare, we took a perverse pride in branding it ‘26/11’. Perhaps we as a nation have a secret death wish - for our own Three Mile or Chernobyl, for an ‘Indian’ Fukushima. As I said, I’ve already given up. You too, go now and enjoy the World Cup.