In the race to zero, thugs couldn't win

The year 2018 had its share of humdinger moments, some seriously-funny and some disporting ones. The latter definitely included films the Khans acted in that sank before you could say, "Stop, don't book that ticket."

We thank Shah Rukh, Salman and Aamir for (Zero, Race 3 and Thugs of Hindostan respectively) because they made us realize that we want good cinema – whether it stars a Khan or a (Ayushmann) Khurrana. Moviegoers no longer want archetypal stuff with outstretched arms or stomping around in a costume handed down by Johnny Depp.

If you want to give us the same bottled masala, a little tweak in the fundamentals might actually get you to a toothy repast.

The others who made us smile were the band of politicians who enjoyed being ruthlessly innovative in their harangue. Let's check a few: Education Minister Satyapal Singh has to be given the blue ribbon for proclaiming that "Charles Darwin's theory of evolution is scientifically wrong. Nobody, including our ancestors, written or oral, ever said they saw an ape turn into a human being." Thank you, Mr Singh, for helping us remember our Class 8 Biology class so graphically and bewildering us with your insight on the subject.

We also have to thank another politician for thinking he found the cure for cancer. In March this year, Shankarbhai Vegad, a BJP Rajya Sabha MP from Gujarat said cow dung and urine can cure the dreaded disease. "Today, if someone has cancer, there is no cure for it...." We like Mr Vegad's avidity but sadly, we are far away from the dream he dreamed in broad daylight.

And yet another politician made us smile: Uttarakhand Animal Husbandry Minister Rekha Arya remarked that the cow is the "only animal that not only inhales oxygen but also exhales it." No, none of us rushed to our textbooks to check that, but we smiled nevertheless for not knowing what else to do.

Sporting events made us realize that everyone can be trolled – even Virat Kohli. The Indian cricket captain found himself in a soup when he told a fan to "leave India" after he said that he likes watching Australian and English batsmen more than Indian ones. We were shocked but smiled because it was Kohli at his extempore best. Kohli clarified on Twitter that trolling was not for him, but it was too late by then — some of us had already decided not to watch the Ashes any more.

Last but not least, we'd like to thank all the lofty weddings that took place in 2018. We smiled because the grandiosity blinded many of us. We also smiled because, in the end, we realized whether in clover or not, everyone dances to filmi songs at sangeets. And like us, even the well-heeled may not get the thumkas and jhatkas right, but they dance nevertheless. If the tony guys can get away with two left feet, so can we.