Do you feel you’ve faked your success?

Who would have thought a strong, confident woman like Michelle Obama struggles with self-doubt? Recently, at a public event in London, she confessed to having the imposter syndrome all the time and said, “It doesn’t go away, that feeling that you shouldn’t take me that seriously. What do I know?” The former first lady of the United States added, “I share that with you because we all have doubts in our abilities, about our power and what that power is.” 

Many celebrities including Meryl Streep, Lady Gaga, Emma Watson, Robert Pattinson, Michelle Williams, Jessica Chastain and Padma Lakshmi have suffered from this condition at some point in their life. We asked experts about this syndrome and how one can deal with it...

What is it?

The Impostor Syndrome is a psychological pattern, in which one tends to doubt their own accomplishments, and therefore, fears that he/she might be exposed as being a fraud, says Bhakti Thakkar Bauva, consultant clinical psychologist, Hiranandani Hospital, Vashi — A Fortis Network Hospital. It is usually seen in successful individuals and tends to occur more after a notable accomplishment.

Women are prone to it

According to Mansi Hasan, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist, five out of 10 of her female patients suffer from this condition. Mostly, it’s ladies in their late 30s and early 40s, who admit to feeling inadequate or questioning their accomplishments.

Why does that happen?

 “Society at large has always projected women to be nurturers and homemakers. Achievement, success and accomplishments are associated more with men. Hence, women are more conditioned to believe that they are not capable of success,” she explains.

Psychiatrist and psychotherapist Dr Anjali Chhabria’s patients battling this ailment also show concealed emotional disorders such as depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. She says work pressure is one of the key reasons that lead to such feelings.

Dealing with it

Mental experts suggest that the first step to deal with this condition is self-introspection that will make you aware that you suffer from this condition. Then, acknowledging the fact that your fear of accepting compliments about your hard work is different than humility is another crucial step, advises Dr Chhabria. Working on rewiring the faulty thoughts about yourself, realising that no one is perfect, that this feeling is not uncommon and it can be worked upon are ways through which you can cope with it, opine experts. They also advise that it’s helpful to share such emotions with your loved ones so that they can show you the true picture and help to instil confidence within yourself.

SIGNS TO WATCH OUT FOR
Mansi Hasan lists the following symptoms:

• Low self-confidence
• Feeling of inadequacy
• Procrastinating tasks due to fear of failure
• Unable to acknowledge your achievements
• Seeking validation by being a workaholic
• Persistent fear of failure
• Feelings of anxiety relating to performance

Hollywood Stars Who Suffer From This Condition

Over the years, the stakes have become higher for me. Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud,” 
—Kate Winslet 

I went to a lot of events because of Deadpool, so you get into the tux and try and look like a grown-up. But to be honest, I still feel like a freckle-faced kid, faking it until I make it.” 
—Ryan Reynolds

Ah, the impostor syndrome!? The beauty of the impostor syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of: ‘I’m a fraud! Oh god, they’re on to me! I’m a fraud!’” 
—Tina Fey

No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?’” 
—Tom Hanks