Amygdala Hijack: How to stay rational when emotions run high

Have you ever had a strong physical reaction during a difficult conversation? Maybe you broke out in a sweat while confronting a rude coworker, or your face turned red during a poor performance review. Maybe you become more emotional than you intended during an argument, or you lose your cool altogether.

These involuntary fight-or-flight reactions occur even in the most balanced of us, thanks to a small, almond-shaped bundle of the brain called the amygdala. It's colloquially known as the reptilian brain—the primitive part of our psyche that lives in permanent survival mode, acting solely on instinct. For our prehistoric ancestors, the amygdala was helpful in confrontations with sabre-toothed cats—but it's certainly uncomfortable for the low-risk challenges we typically face in the workplace.

When Your Amygdala Takes You Hostage

This intense reaction to interpersonal conflict is called amygdala hijacking: it's your brain telling you to fight, flee, or freeze, even when there's no actual physical danger. You know that a heated conversation isn't a matter of life and death, but your amygdala doesn't. And while no one should be discouraged from expressing their feelings, when our reactions are disproportionate to the severity of a conflict, we risk being perceived as difficult to work with or undermining our own self-confidence.

Of course, we struggled with this problem before remote work became commonplace, but the changes brought about by the pandemic have made us increasingly aware of the need to inject empathy, care, skill, and connection into our interactions. This is even more true because amygdala responses are heightened when we're struggling with our mental health, and the world we've been living in for the past two years has had a significant impact on our emotional health.

So, how can we keep our sensitive amygdala in check? The next time you feel like you're about to be attacked, try these three strategies.

1. Turn on your neocortex

You can prevent amygdala hijacking by activating the logical part of your brain, the neocortex. Redirecting your thoughts this way is easier said than done, and it may take more than one lifetime to perfect, but there are some simple ways to channel your more rational side.

Stay in the present. Without judgment, notice whether you're being provoked or provoked. We all have specific body and behavioural cues that alert us to the fact that we're in danger; the idea here is to redirect our thoughts so they don't go into autopilot mode.

Pay attention to your breathing. Breathe slowly and evenly. Think about the pace and rhythm of your breath, and focus on what's happening in your body as you inhale and exhale.

Practice mindfulness or meditation. There are thousands of ways (and even more apps) to help us develop a meditation practice and live more mindfully. But even stepping outside for five minutes or laughing with a friend can give us the perspective we need to fight off an amygdala attack.

2. Identify your thoughts and set an intention

Create the intention to understand. Accept that you'll never know the whole truth, and that others' perspectives—especially our opponents'—may be completely different from ours. So, the goal is to explore logic and better understand why someone thinks what they do. When we understand each other better, we're better able to resolve our differences and find solutions.

3. Practice Conscious Communication

When we engage our logical side and seek understanding first, we can communicate with each other honestly and respectfully. We can have difficult conversations and improve our relationships through conscious communication.