'Jhooth bole Bobby kaate?'

Pyaar Mein Twist

Cast: Rishi Kapoor, Dimple Kapadia
Direction: Hriday Shetty
Rating: **

Screech. A moon-faced daughter gets so cloudy that she thunders, “Chheee my own mother was doing a close dance with some man in public!”

Now you can’t decipher the meaning of the aforequoted “close dance” but from the scandal that erupts, it would seem that the mother and her paramour had already sired a thousand babies. Wail,wail,wail. Rightaway the warning is: never go out for bawlroom dancing.

Hriday Shetty’s Pyaar Mein Twist, currently in the news for (allegedly) pilfering the plot of a Kannada hit, is fundamentally Victorian. It’s all agog at the very idea of a 50ish widower and a late 40s widow discovering that their hearts actually bleat for each other.

Hey Shetty bhai, wake up and smell the cappuccino. Middle aged men and women, who opt for companionship, aren’t likely to be as insulted and ostracised as they are in this tipsy rum-com. Hic hic, no hurray.

In fact, everyone from the younger generation seems to have quaffed litres of lager, as they come off woozy and utterly snoozy. The youth factor is represented by the man’s baby Pran-like son (played by Paisley Jackets) and his wife who wears more make-up than L’Oreal factory.

Onto the woman’s three kids (Moon Ali Khan mega-awkward, and two others who defy human description). Around the scene, is a busy old soul (Farida Jalal, cute as a button) , too, who dispenses advice in the manner of a simmering Agnee Aunt.

So far, so bad. Expectedly, the saving grace are the greying lovers (Rishi Kapoor-Dimple Kapadia). Whenever they are on screen, there’s magic and madeira. Utterly charming, their scenes together - arguing in a car which she can barely drive, that scandal-lit dinner, a walk through the golf course, his drunken endearments at a beachside and their pangs of loneliness - are so well enacted, that even the TV-style direction doesn’t dampen the warm vibes.

How you wish the Bobby twosome were left alone, without all those  hellish grown-up children striving be to the usual kababs mein haddi. Eeee.

Undoubtedly, the charismatic pair needed a better script, more capable direction and a supporting ensemble that didn’t look like raggedy refugees from Baghban.

Dimple Kapadia, in woollies, cottons and silks, is a dream actress. You can’t take your eyes off the gorgeous DK for a split second.

Rishi Kapoor is superb, perfectly in harmony with his lively, guileless character. If there’s one undervalued actor in the country, it’s him.

You get the drift then.See this twisteroo if  you must, only for the undiminished Kapoor-Kapadia chemistry. For the rest of the way, you can watch the more interesting patterns on the multiplex carpet.

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Dansh Cast: Kay Kay Menon, Sonali Kulkarni Direction: Kanika Verma Rating: **

Oof. An upright insurrectionist, his icily menacing  wife and a mysterious doctor group under a roof.  Ariel Dorfman’s stage play Death and the Maiden, which was filmed by Roman Polanski in 1994, is indeed strong brew.

Snag: Kanika Verma’s remix, Dansh, strives so hard to force documentary footage of political events, and rolls out so many facts, dates and figures in a difficult-to-read prologue, that you’re quite unsettled. Sure, Verma’s  heart is in the right place, but shouldn’t a straight story come above political pamphleteering?

The setting is Mizoram, circa 1986. Against the backdrop of military suicides, gunfire and a skirt-twirling song-and-dance, the tormented trio drive each other up the walls - entering and exiting out of the wings theatrically, reapppearing and disappearing, like summer swallows.

Insurrectionist (Kay Kay Menon) is cross when his hysterical wife in a pink nightie (Sonali Kulkarni) wants to shoot the doctor (Aditya Shrivastava). She’s sure he had raped her in a black-and-white tent, the husband’s doubtful, the doc says she’s walnuts.

The direction is fairly realistic but dithers whether it should be humane or agitprop.

Again, the performances are top-class: Kay Kay Menon is first-rate, never hitting a false note. Aditya Shrivastava is believable while Sonali Kulkarni has her iron-hard moments. Overall Dansh does have a bite, but a toothless one.

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Aashiq Banaya Aapne Cast: Emraan ‘Lusty Lips’ Hashmi, Sonu ‘Big Boo’ Sood, Tanushree ‘Promising’ Dutta Direction: Aaditya Datt Rating: *

Help guys. An Amitabh Bachchan look-alike and behave-alike (Sonu Sood) loves his college cutie (Tanushree Dutta). So does look-alike’s cousin/brother/valet (Emraan Hashmi of Kiss Kiss ill-fame). She’s uncertain, carroming between the two gents who’re old enough to be college deans actually.

Aaditya Datt’s debut-making Aashiq Banaya Aapne has some vague shades of the real Bachchan’s Parwana (1971) in content.  In style, it’s very Vikram Bhatt, which may probably be the most ruinous career decision taken by Datt. Sob.

So, Hashmi once again puckers up for a thousand dry kisses, Sonu Sood’s act frightens you - really, what would happen to Mr Bachchan’s peace of mind if he saw this?

And aah, what about newcomer Tanushree Dutta? Not bad at all, in fact, she’s pretty peppy.

On the upbeat front, Himesh Reshammiya’s title track is a show-saver, but did it have to be picturised on bare backs, rumpled sheets and the inevitable Hashmi jumma chummas?  The song deserved much more, just like the audience. Squeak, it’s been a tough week.