Two things can never be avoided — an accused in police remand and the Main Nahi Bolunga series by public demand. Aapka hukum sar aankhon par. God, I really didn’t know that these MNB columns were so popular. So here we go again…

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Pati, patni aur woh

This happily-married popular ’80s hero and his wife were known to be the picture-perfect couple. ‘Shaadi ho to inke jaisi’, that’s what people used to say. Till he met her… the beautiful, ravishing newcomer heroine. Our man was so attracted that he went on signing many films with her, also ensuring that he visited the sets even when he wasn’t shooting.

Mard ka dard

Like the unaccounted-for Rs 1,000 and Rs 500 notes two months ago, their relationship was well-hidden. Eventually, their ‘black’ was declared as ‘white’ to the wife by the hero’s driver. She was very angry — but not heartbroken, because this wasn’t the first time this hero had done something like this. She decided instead of making a huge scene, she would show her utmost displeasure by hurting him where it hurt most.

Tota phurr!

Jis tarah se rakshas ki jaan tote main thi, our man also had a huge weakness…his video cassette collection of Hollywood movies which he had painstakingly gathered from all over the world. When he came back home that night, he was shocked to see all his 1,000+ video cassettes gone. In a fit of rage, he started abusing the servants and even shouted at his wife.

Daya ki devi

She told him, “I went to this video cassette library in the afternoon to pick up a movie and realised he had a very poor collection. I asked the librarywala how much he paid per video cassette and he replied Rs 250. I felt bad and sold off your entire collection to him for Rs 5 each.” He got angrier and told her, “How could you do that to me?”  She stoically said, “How could you do that to me?” Bolo, bolo, kaun the woh? Main nahin bolunga.

PS: By the way, this story was told to me by the librarywala who sold half that collection to me for Rs 10 each. Aur pata hain, maine kya kiya? I sold it to the next librarywala for Rs 15 each. Mere bachpan ki pehli kamai, thanks to the cheating hero and his angry lugaai.