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Drifting kites, writes Twinkle Khanna

Drifting kites, writes Twinkle Khanna

10 am: I'm enjoying Sunday breakfast with the whole family. My in-laws always put enough food on the table to feed half of Amritsar. We're digging into aloo parathas with home-made ghee and as I am despairing at the horrific number of calories being consumed, the phone rings and we get some terrible news. A family friend has lost her young son. The young man, in his early 20s, went to America to attend a friend's wedding, left a suicide note on Facebook and killed himself before anyone could reach him.
I cannot even begin to imagine what his mother is going through. There is no pain greater than losing a child. You start worrying about these tiny beings -- from the time they are in your stomach; from hearing their heartbeats on the sonogram and counting kicks in your last trimester -- you begin your journey of worry. You worry about their health, their education, their careers, their spouses, their children... Worrying, but not really believing that one unlucky day your greatest fear may actually come true.
You lose a child to an accident or an illness and with a broken heart. You console yourself that you did your best, it's perhaps God's will, he has gone to a better place; but when your child decides that the life he has been given, the life where everything he knows is what you have taught him, is not worth living, how do you live with that? How do you stop blaming yourself? How do you go on?

Jodhpur: A girl studying in the 9th grade hung herself from a fan after being regularly teased by a boy at school.

Bangalore: Two teenagers committed suicide by jumping into a water tank after being fired by their teacher for their poor academic performance.

Mumbai: A 14-year-old girl hung herself because she was harassed by her neighbour.

Chandigarh: A 21-year-old student jumped to her death from the sixth floor of her hostel on the campus, leaving a note that included wishing her sisters success in every field.

Kolkata: Two teenage girls committed suicide in a village near Kolkata, disillusioned about their future as a same-sex couple.

We teach our children to study hard, to strive to succeed but do we teach them that it's okay to fail? That life is about accepting yourself? That there is no stigma in seeking help? Our Indian culture is based on worshipping our parents. We grow up listening to words like respect, obedience and tradition. Can we not add the words communication, unconditional love and support to this list?

I look at the WHO research. The highest rate of suicide in India is among the age group of 15 to 29. Do we even talk to our teens about this?

2 pm: We normally spend our Sunday by the poolside or going to the cinema, but today we just get a few groceries and spend time quietly in our kitchen, putting a small meal together.

6.30 pm: I am standing in the balcony, sipping some coffee and looking at the sunset. The children have taken the dogs and gone down to play on the beach. I spot my son. He is standing on the sand, right at the edge of the ocean and is flying a blue kite.

The kite goes high and then swings low till it almost seems to fall into the water and all I want to say to him is that soon he will see that life is just like flying a kite. Sometimes you have to leave it loose, sometimes you have to hold on tight, sometimes your kite will fly effortlessly, sometimes you will not be able to control it and even when you are struggling to keep it afloat and the string is cutting into your hand, don't let go.
The wind will change in your favour once again, my son. Just don't let go...

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