'Ajab Phyan, Ghazab Kahani!'
It’s also widely believed that Phyan itself abandoned plans of storming Mumbai because it was upset with its own name.
There are several theories floating as to why Cyclone Phyan spared Mumbai last week. Like, the Met Department has accused Phyan of deliberately changing its course. “It’s yet another attempt to embarrass us by disproving our predictions,” said a Met official. “We don’t know what Mother Nature has got against us. But each time we’ve predicted heavy rains, she has wiped the dark clouds off the skies and made us look like idiots.
Phyan was our last chance at credibility. Now, even my wife refuses to take me seriously. Can you imagine how awkward it is for a weatherman to go home every night feeling like a loser — because he can neither predict the weather nor his wife’s moods?”
It’s also widely believed that Phyan itself abandoned plans of storming Mumbai because it was upset with its own name. After all, Phyan is Burmese for “a cherry fallen off a tree” and no self-respecting cyclone can go about its task of causing havoc with a name like that. Phyan was also reportedly upset that being called a cherry sent out wrong signals about a cyclone’s sexual orientation.
It wondered why India couldn’t emulate the US, which named a hurricane after Katrina Kaif! Unreliable sources reveal that Phyan would have been happier if it was called Cyclone Rakhi Sawant!
However, within hours of the cyclone threat fizzling out, Phyan issued a press statement, explaining that it steered clear of Mumbai on humanitarian grounds. “Because a Burmese name for a Mumbai cyclone would have given enough reason for political parties to do more damage to the city than a cyclone,” elaborated Phyan.
“While some of them would have damaged public property demanding the cyclone be renamed, others would have demanded military offensive against Burma and then burnt geography textbooks on not finding Burma on the map… until some kid points out that Burma is now Myanmar!”
But Cyclone Phyan has promised to revisit Mumbai soon — as a storm brewing on Kareena Kapoor’s bare back in Kurbaan. “It’s time Kareena realised that she is a size-zero woman carrying the burden of the entire Indian culture on her back,” concluded Phyan. “Some politicians feel her bare back is offending our culture. In fact, her smooth and flawless back is offending them more than the state of our roads which are anything but that! So, watch out for Cyclone Phyan as Bareback Bebo — coming soon to a multiplex near you!”
Phyan was our last chance at credibility. Now, even my wife refuses to take me seriously. Can you imagine how awkward it is for a weatherman to go home every night feeling like a loser — because he can neither predict the weather nor his wife’s moods?”
It’s also widely believed that Phyan itself abandoned plans of storming Mumbai because it was upset with its own name. After all, Phyan is Burmese for “a cherry fallen off a tree” and no self-respecting cyclone can go about its task of causing havoc with a name like that. Phyan was also reportedly upset that being called a cherry sent out wrong signals about a cyclone’s sexual orientation.
It wondered why India couldn’t emulate the US, which named a hurricane after Katrina Kaif! Unreliable sources reveal that Phyan would have been happier if it was called Cyclone Rakhi Sawant!
However, within hours of the cyclone threat fizzling out, Phyan issued a press statement, explaining that it steered clear of Mumbai on humanitarian grounds. “Because a Burmese name for a Mumbai cyclone would have given enough reason for political parties to do more damage to the city than a cyclone,” elaborated Phyan.
“While some of them would have damaged public property demanding the cyclone be renamed, others would have demanded military offensive against Burma and then burnt geography textbooks on not finding Burma on the map… until some kid points out that Burma is now Myanmar!”
But Cyclone Phyan has promised to revisit Mumbai soon — as a storm brewing on Kareena Kapoor’s bare back in Kurbaan. “It’s time Kareena realised that she is a size-zero woman carrying the burden of the entire Indian culture on her back,” concluded Phyan. “Some politicians feel her bare back is offending our culture. In fact, her smooth and flawless back is offending them more than the state of our roads which are anything but that! So, watch out for Cyclone Phyan as Bareback Bebo — coming soon to a multiplex near you!”