The right way to network with strangers

"Hello! How are you doing?," asked a somewhat familiar-looking person with model-like looks, who was seated next to me on Indore-Mumbai flight. I took a minute to recognise Aparshakti Khurana of Dangal and Stree movies and brother of actor Ayushman Khurana. We just got talking and as the discussion progressed, I and Apar had already agreed to invite him to speak at some business events and he had gladly agreed to give me some good connects of Bollywood for events.

How it became a good contact in just one-and-a-half hour? Aparshakti, fondly known as Apar, initiated the conversation. We discussed at length as to how it was possible for him to connect with strangers always. The tips we discovered mutually are here for everyone.

It's a matter of chance: People might or not be open to connect and talk. When you initiate a hello, be ready that it might be possible not to be welcomed. Truth be told, most people dread talking to a stranger and then the fear of refusal hits badly. How to start the talk? Look at the person you would like to connect to. If one looks back to you but there is no feel of a smile or the person gets busy with their mobile or start reading a book after that first hello, let it go. Sometimes, we meet influential people and are eager to get to know them but respecting the privacy of an individual is crucial. It is the first lesson if you want to become a great networker.

Business or not:

Not every contact is meant for business. Every business card exchanged does not mean or guarantee any business. In many conferences and business dinners, people deal with business cards the same way they do with a deck of play cards. Give them away freely and stock them the same way. Most people do not recognise the face behind the card after they have left the venue. It is important to write an email reminding of the meeting you had and thank them. Do not write a long business introduction here. That is to be done in the second email and then take it further.

Personal is not friendly:

Asking questions about personal life or even marital status is wrong. I have personally walked out of a conversation where the person was more keen to know why am I single instead of explaining the business proposition he had brought. That was our first meeting and the last, too. Once a vice president of an automobile company shared at a networking event that he had tragically lost his wife in an accident. The conversation then shifted to road safety and more painfully, how he should lead his life. Need I say this, no business ever happened between him and the other executive.

Start with self:

Talk about your business in short and about you. Usually, the first conversation should have your name and where or what do you work as. Let the other person respond. Introductions have to be short and crisp. It is a platform to connect. Do not give away your life story. Unless you are a Kardashian, no one is interested in knowing about sad stories of failures. The best way to understand the possibility of further business is to listen more.

It helps if your eye contact is straight but not staring. Keep the body language friendly but do not lean or touch the person, especially in the flights where space is narrow as the message can be mistaken.

Networking with complete strangers is an art. Successful people learn to understand the difference between turning strangers in to connect or leaving the event with a warm shake hand as a goodbye. As Apar said as a parting line, "People fail reality checks and do not give time for organic growth of a network." May the New Year brings you a lot of new network and the skills to connect. After all, every connect was a stranger once upon a time.

The writer is strategic advisor and premium educator with Harvard Business Publishing