What if we don’t? ‘Direct Death’

By now, you must have met one these characters at your door: the person in a khaki coat who turns up from a government department with a problem that can be fixed only on production of a bakshish; the person in a dark blue coat claiming to be sent to service your pressure cooker or your water filter and doubtless wants money to get a spare part after a cursory look at your gadget (money and person are both about to vanish forever).

But a 20-something woman in a grubby white lab coat was a first for us. She wanted to give us a Hepatitis-B vaccination! She stood there, resolute at the door, armed with a booklet that said “Hepatitis-B Vaccination Camp - A Good Health Movement. Registration fee Rs 10”. Ms Grubby White Lab Coat said she was from the government health department.

Could this be yet another scam? After all, no one had told us that such a “camp” was being held in the neighbourhood. There was no news of it in the papers or through the building association that normally screens such visitors. So, her ingenuity and determination to make it through the building security and other such pesky deterrents were to be admired.

As it happens, even census officials find it difficult to reach households for the purpose of capturing population details. Many of them have been shooed away as annoying salesmen and dubious scamsters. Really, it will be a miracle if the census results reflect this nation given the lack of methodical communication and the odds the census department faces in executing its onerous task.
So, does the Karnataka government health department really stand a chance?

Ms Grubby White Lab Coat began her predetermined 60-second spiel in Kannada and quickly realized that we were unable to follow her. She switched with a, “Hindi?” In telegraphic prose and a gentle lisp she told us that she was from the health department and was going to register us for the Good Health Movement. This would result in us getting a Hepatitis-B vaccination at the local municipal school on the coming Sunday between 10.30 am and noon on payment of a small fee of Rs100 for adults and Rs 50 for children below 12. The registration - at our doorstep - would cost Rs 10 per person. Hepatitis-B, she explained, affected the liver, kidney, spleen, and every other organ you can imagine.
“Okay,” we said, “But who is the supplier of the vaccine? Is it a reliable supplier?” Having just read reports in this paper that over 62% of underground water in the city is contaminated by industrial effluents, which could lead to untold healthcare problems, it made sense to arm oneself against everything. Even if in this instance it was not related to the polluted water. These were official reports, no less, announced by the environment minister. Ms Grubby White Lab Coat knew that God lived in the details and informed us, confidently, that the vaccines were from Bharat Biotech. “Good quality,” she assured us. “Best.” When we told her that there were two adults and the child to be registered was 14 years, she looked pitifully at us and said, “Child, 14? Rs 100 only. Not 50.”

But she also reassured us that if we were to take the vaccine at a regular hospital, the same dose would cost 10 times as much. Not only did she know that God lived in the details, but was certain the economics would drive us instantly to the local municipal medical camp.

Out of curiosity we asked what would happen if we did not take the vaccine. “Direct death,” was her deadpan response. That did it! We could not help but admire her hard sell. And how could we not register for the Good Health Movement?

As it happens, Bharat Biotech is amongst the better suppliers of the vaccine in the country and has supplied over 140 million doses of the vaccine to date.

Every person should take the Hepatitis-B vaccination (of course you do need to refer to your doctor first, in order to ensure you are not allergic to the vaccine). It is an inflammation of the liver that is caused by viruses. Over time, it damages the liver and can lead to the need for liver transplant. According to World Health Organisation statistics, every 15th carrier of Hepatitis B is an Indian and an estimated 12.5 million suffer from it in the country.

As it happens, Hepatitis-B kills 10 times more people each year than HIV.

The problem is serious enough to merit a better communication plan than the non-existent one right now. We were lucky to have Ms Grubby White Lab Coat turn up and convince us with her unintentionally persuasive manner. The government’s Good Health Movement deserves a better chance of success.