Women who take pains on their looks and wardrobe aren't air-headed bimbos, they're smart and sexy

I got a particularly vicious letter last week asking me to stop writing such a trashy column, telling people how to dress up at the airport. Yes, it did hurt my fragile ego quite a lot, but such an opinion was not at all surprising. Because I have met not one, but hundreds of people who think the amount of attention I pay to what I wear every day is ridiculous. I am one of those who often spends an hour trying on different outfits. And then once in two weeks agonise over my total lack of good clothes and go on a mindless shopping spree. They all compliment me, but inwardly cringe at my shallowness. And when my face lights up at a compliment, I am sure they look at me and roll their eyes, "that's all that matters to her". Surely I am imagining it all, you say. Maybe a tad more than usual, but it's true. And there will be a few reading this and nodding their heads vigorously.

I have figured out what it is: In many ways the dumb blonde syndrome. If she dresses up sexy, matches her heels, puts on that light blusher and colours her hair pink, she surely has no brains. And though they will never say it to your face, they do say it behind your back.

Just yesterday as I spoke to my partner about the various compliments given to me during the course of the day, he looked deep into my eyes and asked me a question that scared the wits out of me: "Darling what if they are all laughing behind your back?" And I was close to tears, because surely it was impossible. But it couldn't be, I argued. I am a good person. I have never spoken rudely to a soul, never been unkind, selfish or arrogant. I am kind, generous and in many ways a pushover - surely I qualify as a nice person, I asked him? Maybe that's why they compliment me so readily and so often.

He looked at my face and said, "Yes, with you that must be the case," and went back to his book.

I have thought and thought about this since then, and I am left feeling a bit out of the loop. Why do women like us - and I know there are many out there - have to prove themselves more often than the rest? I have to ask a question. If I am dumb and shallow, would it change tomorrow if I paid less attention to what I wore? No, it wouldn't. So how can you get aggravated if I dress up?

It matters to pay attention to what you wear and how you wear it. It's not about the Jimmy Choos and the Moschinos, it about being comfortable and being yourself - that's true style for sure. It's about setting trends, not following them. It's about loving yourself enough to look good just for yourself. So please darlings - men and women - dress up and don't be afraid of a few condescending stares.

I will end by quoting the irreplaceable Coco Chanel: "I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny."

Best advice in the world. Ciao

b_aastha@dnaindia.net