Live TV & 'neta' tantrums

I need someone from the TMC, SP, BSP, Congress and BJP and I need them fast.” There’s one group of people who have heard this mouthful of abbreviations barked at them almost every hour for the past week and as someone who’s had to handle the 10pm show those nights, it’s often been me making that plea. Ever since Mamata Banerjee threw the entire political class into a tizzy, TV debates can only be about Didi or what happens after Didi. And that’s where the dedicated team of guest bookers in every channel comes in — the unsung heroes who keep our feeding frenzy going.

“He can join us but he has a request,” the timid young booker tells my colleague, “He can only do one-on-one.” Before my colleague has time to chew on that, the booker elaborates, “He also wants an exclusive tag, and he wants that the box that shows him should be bigger than any other guest on the channel and he wants the first 10 minutes of your bulletin to focus on his interview.”

Obviously, “request” was a euphemism. Apparently, this particular Congress leader was especially known for his vain, unreasonable requests and his tantrums have become stuff of legends. Years ago, he was scheduled to appear on a debate with a former envoy and a top strategic analyst. When he arrived at the studio, he saw he had to be seated at the same table. “But how can it be?” he screamed at the bookers, “Do you not see that they are below my status?” No one had, obviously, imagined that status would be an issue but with no time left to go on air, the bookers had to think of something imaginative — they placed his camera in a different room. And he turned from a status-obsessed monster to a smooth-talking politico on TV.

Maybe, it’s an effect that cameras have on people — the thought that a large number of people is  watching and you can influence their decision. Or maybe, it’s just that those who are full of themselves, like many politicians often are, find their pomposity exaggerated under the camera lens. And you don’t really have to be in the ruling party to exert your power — TV needs talking heads from all parties. So there are several BJP leaders who also tell bookers when they call, “Who else is on the show? Are you sure they are up to my stature?” And what the polite bookers never tell, lest they hurt you, is that stature is mostly about the other guests but sometimes about the anchor too: “Who’s the anchor? Who? Sunetra? Never heard of her — I don’t think I am free.”

Yes, TV’s a cruel business but no one feels the cruelty more than the young ones on our guest desk. They have been harassed and abused, all in the pursuit of news and getting all opinions, however hard they may be to get. Like a former judge who was booked to appear on a show that would discuss executive overreach. Being a judge, he was too used to everyone dropping everything to greet him wherever he went. So he didn’t like the fact that he had to wait for his time slot to speak. He walked out, followed by the two bookers who begged him to come back. He lectured them on bad manners and upbringing when all they’d done was prioritised the bulletin according to news value. “I want your resignations first thing tomorrow morning,” he screamed as he went off, leaving two bewildered women wondering what he was talking about.

So, the next time you moan about the same guests on every channel, talking every day, you should keep this in mind — it’s not because the bookers didn’t try, more likely, there are the few handful who politely agree. And talking on TV seems to be a coveted job which political parties only trust a few to do — the Samajwadi Party has only four spokespersons who are authorised and of them two are the chief minister and his father who don’t frequent TV studios; the Congress party has 30-odd, of which most have now become ministers and are too snooty to do TV; the Trinamool number speaks whenever it chooses, while the AIADMK and the BSP never do. So we’re lucky if we hear any viewpoint from them at all — relying mostly on their supporters to speak.

I’ll leave you with the story of one guest who’s maybe the most high maintenance of all. Of a mature age, she’s understandably sensitive of the way she looks, so the only time she joins us live is when a particular cameraperson is on shift. Apparently, only he has the skill to light her face favourably. To be honest, I’d rather deal with her than the other tantrums — wouldn’t you?

Sunetra Choudhury is an anchor/ reporter for NDTV and is the author of the election travelogue Braking News
On Twitter: @sunetrac