Gurgaon: After reading news articles where a man could face up to three years in jail for an “offensive” tweet while people accused of hit-and-run cases are not even traced and caught, Ramesh Chaudhari has decided to drop his plan to harass his neighbour Suresh Chand on Twitter.

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Ramesh and Suresh are neighbours who have never spent a day without fighting with each other, residents of Shaanti Apartments confirm. Last night Ramesh had decided to take this fight online after he discovered that Suresh was active on Twitter.

“One of my friends told me that Suresh had put my picture on Twitter and titled it: This is how a moron looks like. I decided that I’d take revenge,” Ramesh told Faking News.

However, the same night, Ramesh happened to watch TV debates where he came to know that the new IT laws of the country provision for three years of imprisonment if a tweet was deemed “offensive”, “annoying” or “inconvenient” to someone.

“Well, the first thought that came to my mind was if I should file a case like P Chidambaram’s son and get Suresh arrested,” Ramesh said. “But I was not sure if the police will act as quickly as they acted in Karthi Chidambaram’s case to help me.”

“Also, I was not sure how long the courts will take to settle the case and send that pig to jail,” he added. “I was looking for instant justice.”

The initial idea of “instant justice” that came to Ramesh’s mind was to mock and abuse back Suresh on Twitter. However, he changed his mind as the father-in-law of Suresh happened to be a lawyer. He feared being dragged into a court case using Section 66A of the new IT law.

“There was a risk of getting three years of jail, apart from doing rounds of police stations and courts. So I changed my mind,” Ramesh confirmed. “But my blood boiled and I decided to teach that pig a bigger lesson.”

That’s when Ramesh decided to run his car over Suresh in the parking area of his apartment, for one can get a maximum punishment of two years in jail for causing death by negligence under section 304A of the IPC.

“Or maybe, I’d ‘negligently’ drop my LPG cylinder over him from the third floor where I live,” Ramesh explained his plans to take revenge as in the wake of the new IT laws.

While some activists believe that this is a dangerous precedent, “experts” in the government claim that at least Ramesh was deterred from publishing an offensive tweet, which was one of the most serious challenges facing the country.

Rahul Roushan thinks he can make some sense through nonsense. He attempts the same through his news satire website www.fakingnews.com