Do you call yourself feminist?

Evolution with time is a continuous process. A headway towards egalitarianism has gained traction in recent times. But, how much of an individual’s conscience and understanding of the concept of feminism has contributed towards the making of a world of equals, needs to be asked.

In an age, where various hashtags and movements have been dedicated to the cause of feminism, one wonders if the ones, who claim to be feminists are truly the legit ones, and not in the run up to becoming one. This misgiving arises due to the big question mark that looms over as to what happens to the years of conditioning that has nurtured our perceptions to view the binary of men and women in our society?

We have always been a society where women have been long suppressed and oppressed. However, with time people change primarily due to the influence that their experiences in the past had on them. One always tends to make a mental note of injustices done to them to make sure that their next generation doesn’t get the same treatment. Perhaps, this is why people’s bitter experiences make them a bit more lax and giving in their relationships with other people. The pertinent question is, “Can they qualify themselves as an equal opportunity giver?”

Positive changes are there in plenty yet are the changes adequate enough for women to rejoice, feel grateful, fulfilled and maybe truly liberated? Many times, the hope to find solace comes from the circumstantial history of ancestors. It serves as a reminder that their present situation is much more palatable. But is this what feminism is all about? Shouldn’t it be about egalitarianism instead of making do with the existing circumstances? For how long, after all, do we intend to make do? Women get so complacent with the little freedom granted by men or society, at large, that they do not even think, let alone, fight for their rights. Granted word is cardinal here; it serves a connotation of its own. The period spent rejoicing on small freedoms also happens to be a bout of another infliction and deprivation, of less grave nature, and perhaps not even palpable to some. What could be worse than a suffering which is anonymous in nature at the time, but a source of agony when seen in hindsight?

Some say women only become stumbling stones to a level-playing field between men and women. One wonders if it holds true and if so, then what could be the possible reasons for it. It could be attributed to the years of forced asceticism, early on in their lives, which has corroborated their belief system to an extent that they actually begin to glorify their subjugated lives and give it a meaning, that is, the essence of womanhood. Hence, the explanation of existing role-playing with women in the most stereotypical fashion.

They say years of conditioned attitudes and belief structure makes a person who he is. It could possibly not be easy for people conditioned with stereotypical beliefs, with respect to the quintessential archaic position of women in a society, to really recuperate from their years of well-nurtured regressive beliefs. One of the major reasons for the not-so-massive success of the feminist movement is owing to the long standing notion of an ideal woman. The ideal woman was uniformly the coy, meek, and a submissive one. These traits of an ideal woman have long empowered men.

With changing times, women want to feel empowered and carve their own identities. With power dynamics changing in the relationship between men and women, society is finding it difficult to cope with the sudden inexplicable demands and fury of hitherto long subjugated women.

Now, this is the thing with inexplicable fury – a product of belated realization. It confuses the mind of the recipient and makes the giver look like a rebel without a cause. Anyway a rebel is a rebel and with inexplicable sudden fury as its befuddling weapon it has somewhat got what it wanted, but not with an open heart. The response of the society, as a whole, can be best termed as duplicitous.

One could only hope that people truly understand the reasons behind the sudden fury, for it’s a big blow to anyone to discover how they themselves abided by a set of misplaced and non-questioned existing notions for a good amount of their life only to discover how colossally wrong they were. The problem is compounded on seeing how they have set a pattern of living for themselves. Seeking to grow out of an existing pattern is not very easy, one is questioned and made to feel helpless. It’s never too late to stand for what one believes in. Ironically, first we don’t let women grow empowered, and when they seek it belatedly, they’re met with an accusatory response. The blame is pinned down to women only for their belated realization. Realization for a right thing, be it advanced or belated, should never be discriminated against, but given due importance. 

Any battle’s essence lies in achieving the goal with minimal collateral destruction. However, if one chooses to go all up in the arms, even rightfully so, discarding tact, then the battle maybe won, asymmetrically. The fury may be justifiable, but would it benefit anyone in a larger scheme of things, if not accompanied with long-term strategy and tact? One mustn’t not let years of subjugation-led fury dilute one’s better sense of channelling their anger. Firm resolve along with the sensibilities befitting a wise person throughout the process of change could help manoeuvre through the battle easily. It might take long, but one would at least be able to safeguard against the loss of essence between the binary of men and women.

The force is with women today. Efforts should be made to not wreck it by misplacing the sense of given opportunity. Let not the society, eager to stereotype the consequences of progress of women, set an unworthy narrative.

The author is a journalist