Behave right for a happier marriage

Love is blind, and marriage is an eye opener is relevant to those who haven’t known their partners well before getting married. And when I say not known them “well”, I mean really well, with warts and all and for enough time. Tying the knot after briefly knowing one’s partner is bound to lead to disillusionment. Disillusionment and distress go hand in hand in relationships. 

Most people feel any relationship should culminate into a marriage. Culmination is a kind of closure and why would one want anything to end? Not to say, one shouldn’t get married. But a marriage certainly doesn’t mean the culmination of happiness and the beginning of challenges. It’s this attitude and not the marriage which breeds boredom and nonchalance in a relationship.

The outlook towards a marriage needs a major shift. Every couple needs to refurbish their relationship fundamentals. Primarily, feeling a marriage is the end of romance is a fallacy.  To keep that attraction and longing going, one shouldn’t have too much of each other. Enough space should be taken and given, limiting the scope to take each other for granted. Secondly, the mentality to exercise a right over each other should be exorcised. Just because one is married, doesn’t mean one can get away with murder or expect the moon. Instead of looking at marriage as a license to get away with anything and everything, one should focus on the relationship dynamics and whether the equation shared before continues. 

Duties and responsibilities mar every relationship but if they are shared and worked out, life becomes easier and don’t hamper a beautiful relationship otherwise. For example, if one partner is working and slogging it out, the other partner should be understanding enough and manage the rest of the show. And when the show is managed well, the working partner shouldn’t feel just because their partner is home, he/she is having it easy for its never easy. Last but not the least, every individual should continue to look happy and attractive. Putting on weight, losing interest and becoming complacent is directly proportional to an unhappy and a compromised relationship.  A happier, satisfying and stimulating marriage only needs a swing in your thinking. 

Relationship and couples therapist. Helps couples and individuals deal with their relationship problems effectively 
sagarika@thoughtcounsel.com