I’m serious: I really do like nasal singers. And all of you who snigger at Himesh Reshammiya should first confront the truth about your own noses. Ask yourselves: what is the most that you can do with your nose? Blow it?Snort something banned? Or, at the least, pick it? Disgusting! Here’s a guy who can put his nose to better use, and make millions in the process.And the chattering classes simply can’t stand him! They turn up their noses (sorry) at the very mention of his name! I just don’t understand it.Truth to tell, I don’t know a single human being who listens to Himesh. Or would admit to liking his songs.This raises a very fundamental (as well as mental) question.If nobody listens to Himess, then how come, I asked the people who don’t listen to Himess, his songs are played everywhere, aall day-aall night?“Only autowallahs and taxi-drivers listen to his kind of music,” I was told. “We who sit in the passenger seat don’t.” Oh! This raised more fundamental questions in my mind.So, apparently, when Himess became the first Indian to perform at the Wembley, all of India’s auto, taxi and truck drivers must have flown to London to attend his concert? Or perhaps it was attended only byLondon’s taxi-drivers?And what about the savvy lot who run our FM channels? They all know that their target audience is the young, cool, hip, urban, intelligent, upwardly mobile (or Ipod/Iphone).According to a survey I conducted myself, 99.63 per cent of the young, cool, hip, urban, intelligent, upwardly mobile (or Ipod/Iphone) don’t drive autos or taxis for a living.And yet, 24/7, our FM stations keep playing the songs of a man who only auto/taxi-drivers listen to. Are FM channels run by idiots or auto-drivers?Let’s forget the fact that nobody listens to Himess. And move on to why they won’t. The first reason we’ve already touched upon tangentially: if you listen to him, people will think you are an auto/taxi-driver when you are actually a far superior human being.One of the parameters of this superiority is superior taste in music. And how is this superiority established? By not listening to what autowallahs listen to. The logic sounds rather deranged to me, but maybe it’s just me.The second reason, which we’ve also touched upon, is his nose. For the record, two darlings of the discerning classes, Mukesh and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, were as nasal as they come.And neither produced as many hits in as short a time as Himess. So, lets just keep everyone’s noses out of this, okay? The third ‘issue’: the cap. Himess never removes his cap. So? Michael Jackson never takes off his white skin.As Munnabhai might say, tere ko kya?And the last reason is that he happens to think numerology is more important than spelling, and people cite his acting debut, Aap Kaa Surroor: The Moviee: The Real Luv Story.When we have no qualms reading columnists, electing chief ministers and feting TV soap tycoons who prefer numerologic to spelling logic, this discussion, realllyy, my luv, is sillieee.And so, at the risk of being rendered a social outcast and being driven to apply for an auto-rickshaw licence, let me say this outright:I love Himesh Reshammiya, and of all the musicians who’ve ever poked their noses into playback singing, and including those who never wore a cap, Himessbhai is the greatest.

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