Pitch a curve: Let’s not take it from the curvers

One of the latest relationship slangs is curving. Curving can be used in different contexts but its normally used to convey a disinterest in someone who is bidding for affection. It also means to reject someone. 'Curvers' have a smooth way of executing it. They have mastered the art of walking the thin line between being interested yet being casual about their relationship.

The odds are that it could have happened to you without you having realised it. While in ghosting there is a sudden exit with no explanation, in curving there continues to be a connect. A connect which leaves the person being curved confused and anxious – struggling to fathom the equation of the relationship.

Unlike in ghosting, in curving your texts do get a response but that's about it. The texts are well crafted and dotted with excuses. Singular "hey" and "k" mark the common response patterns. Questions seldom are a part of their texts. Their 'sorrys' for a delayed response on not seeing your missed calls or texts demonstrate their nonchalance. 'Curvers' continue to engage with you but only at a superficial level and as per their convenience. My client had a hard time recovering after being curved by her boyfriend. She used to turn a blind eye to every indicator which came her way. Despite dating her boyfriend and spending a lot of time together, they never had 'that talk'.

Making the relationship official or taking it to the next level was never spoken about. She felt like a couple when with him and felt being loved. But nothing was expressed verbally or in writing. Right from the beginning he would never text or call saying he had a great time after they met.

He was never keen to meet her during the week blaming his busy work schedule. When she tried to plan a weekend, he would remain vague. The news about him being promoted at work and his brother getting married was not shared with her. Her disappointment was met with a very casual response citing his absentmindedness. Also, he didn't want to appear too dependent on her. Hence refrained from sharing anything and everything.

'Curvers' can be super subtle or obnoxiously obvious. Either way, it is very damaging. Take it as a learning curve and stop getting curved. Stay ahead of the 'curvers' – pitch a curve.

Relationship and couples therapist. Helps couples and individuals deal with their relationship problems effectively 
sagarika@thoughtcounsel.com