Bye, bye folks. You will never see my kind again.
Dear haters and media people,
This is it folks. Time to call it a day. I’ve listened to your stupid abuse for so long and I don’t see any particular reason to continue putting myself through the agony. Every single one of you with opposable thumbs who couldn’t kick the ball from point A to B has an opinion on my passion and ability when I turn up for the national team.
You believe that I can’t truly be one of the greatest of all times if I don’t lead the country to a major win, as if three finals in three years, is some sort of terrible ordeal. I don’t understand how you people can be so dumb to wonder about my passion just because I don’t belt out the national anthem before the match, as if the decibel level of my off-key singing is directly proportional to the love for my country.
Then we had the man, who everyone believes I will never emulate, saying that I lacked passion and personality. As if personality is the by-product of being a coke-head. I would also like to recognise the abilities of my compatriots, who over the years have always made me really appreciate Xavi and Iniesta more and more. Talking about compatriots, what the hell is your deal Gonzalo? Do you hate me that much or did McGell, the hunk of muscle the world likes to call Cristiano Ronaldo bribe you to fluff your lines?
I can understand missing once but how the hell do you contrive to miss comfortable goal-scoring chances in three finals in a row? Oh and Heber Roberto Lopes, kind sir, next time you officiate a major final, do consider not taking out your red card every time you see the wind blowing in a general direction.
As for the media, those people who seem to think they know everything sitting in their comfortable chairs, I never really cared for you guys but even you aren’t so dumb to believe that I am not so fragile that I’d quit because Diego Maradona said I had no personality. Like really? I battled soul-crunching poverty and growth hormone deficiency and skipped past hulking defenders who could end my career with one wrong tackle but oh one misplaced comment was all it took for me to hang up my boots.
Maybe you guys would back off if I acted like McGell and behaved more rudely and threw a microphone into the and acted like I was the best thing you ever saw. Well let me try that for once.
I am Lionel Messi and I have eight La Ligas, four Copa Del Rays and four Champions League titles. I have also scored the most goals in La Liga, once scored 73 goals in season (including 50 league goals), scored 91 goals in a year. I also have the most assists in La Liga and Copa America. But forget the records, you will always tell your children and grandchildren that you were alive when Leo Messi played the game, that you saw me in the flesh or live on TV and could scarcely believe that a man like me played the game.
Peace out hombres.
Yours sincerely,
Leo Messi
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 "My Watch is Over")
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