Ashes 2015, 2nd Test, Day 4 Match Report: Australia humiliate England by 405 runs to level series

As England No 9 Stuart Broad decided to go after Mitchell Johnson in the post-tea session, flashing at short-pitched deliveries and managing to send them to the fence twice in an over, the partisan crowd at Lord's cheered loudly.

The trouble was, Johnson had picked two wickets in the first over after tea with his lethal fire-breathing brand of fast, attacking bowling on the batsmen's rib-cage, even on a very docile pitch. The trouble was, England were 82-7 at the point, not chasing 109 runs but 509.

The cheers could then only be put down to two possibilities: a) the crowd had downed it's fair share of amber nectar by then, or b) they were sarcastic cheers, making the most of their own predicament. Or perhaps both.

It was a day that had started on a worrisome note for the visitors, when just in the second over of the morning, Chris Rogers knelt down and called for the medical staff. The 37-year-old Australian opener was looking visibly unsteady and with a history of concussions, rightfully decided it was best to walk back retired hurt on 49. Cricket Australia soon confirmed that it was a case of dizziness.

By the end of the day, however, it was the England players who looked to be the dizzy ones, with cartoon canaries flying over their heads as they were bowled out in just 37 overs by Australia.

In an incredible afternoon session when England slipped to 42-3, it was hardly any consolation that it wasn't 30-3 like a few times too many in the recent past. That was soon to become 52-5, which meant that five of England's top six batsmen had fallen in one session. That is not good enough to win a Test match, leave lone against Australia.

Chasing 509 was always going to be next to impossible, but if anything this was a chance for England's flailing top-order, particularly Adam Lyth, Gary Ballance and Ian Bell, to rediscover their form and spend some valuable time out in the middle. They had a possible 150 overs to play for.

Instead, Australian debutant wicketkeeper Peter Nevill gladly pouched England's top three batsmen in the afternoon, and with that effectively the game. Add to that another gift to a close catcher and a farcical run-out, and England were wiped away before they realised even it.

Apart from not allowing England to bowl them out in either innings, what Australia did right in this game was to have clear plans for each opposition batsman. Adam Lyth (7) was caught behind by the keeper for the second time in the match and for the seventh time in the slip-gully region in eight innings.

While the opening batsman might get a longer rope, considering he hit a Test century just two matches ago, it's the two batsmen below him in the order who might find the axe dangling over their heads.

Ballance, who also fed Nevill with a catch, might have been unfortunate on this occasion to get one that bounced up higher than expected, but his dismissal for 14 meant he now has just 134 runs to show from eight innings since the West Indies tour earlier this year.

Bell, meanwhile, almost went first ball, but his inside edge managed to avoid flicking the top of the stumps. The 33-year-old was even dropped later in the slips, but was third-time unlucky as he edged Nathan Lyon to forward short leg for 11. His recent record is worse than Ballance's -- 128 runs in 12 innings since his 143 in Antigua.

Even skipper Alastair Cook, for all his zen-like resilience in the first innings, flashed at a wide one and nicked it to the keeper after scoring just 11. And if you thought it couldn't possibly get any worse for England, Ben Stokes (0) decided to run himself out in the most bizarre manners ever imaginable.

Running to the danger end for a quick single, Stokes forgot to ground his bat while approaching the crease, seemingly taking evasive action against the throw from Johnson, and was comically run-out with both his feet and his bat in the air as the ball hit the stumps.

The Australian bowlers stuck to their plans and reaped rewards. They had learned from fruitlessly banging it in on a similar featherbed in Cardiff and decided to keep it fast, aggressive and on a length, except for batsmen who had a weakness for short-pitched bowling, like Joe Root and Moeen Ali, who were peppered with bouncers.

As the Aussies celebrated their deserved win, the England players looked scarred, some physically but all mentally. This was not the result they would have had in mind after their heroics last week in South Wales. It was their batting that failed them in both innings at Lord's and their top-order will have to get rid of their baggage before the next match, considering it is unchanged.

The bright side for the hosts is that they have 10 days to regroup and refresh their minds before the next Test at Edgbaton, while the Australians play a tour match in Derbyshire.