Rape allegations did disturb me mentally, says India Hockey captain Sardar Singh

India hockey captain Sardar Singh opens up to Rutvick Mehta about controversial allegations of rape against him and how he overcame it. Excerpts from an exclusive interview

The past couple of months have been like a roller-coaster ride for you. You were accused of rape, and despite all that was going on, you lead your team — Punjab Warriors — to the Hockey India League (HIL) title. How did you manage to let those issues not affect your game?

Yes, it was a tough time. But I told myself that such things happen to even the biggest sportspersons and the biggest people in other fields around the world. They face such things head on. Even I did the same, and I will continue doing the same. But the important thing is how you remain mentally strong and focus on your work. For me, my hockey is first. Even my family comes next. Hockey has given me everything that I have right now. Hockey has given me the fortune of representing my country at the highest level. So that kept me motivated. Throughout that episode, I told myself only one thing: put hockey above everything else.

But surely, the rape allegations must have affected you in some way...

To be honest, it did disturb me mentally. But it really comes down to how strong you are, and how you take on such things. It's only you who can fight such issues by talking to yourself and maintaining your inner peace and belief. I firmly believe that there's nobody else that can make you strong. It has to come from within. And that's what I did.

Were you disturbed with the timing of the entire saga, coming months before the crucial 2016 Rio Olympics?

Yes, somewhere down the line I was disappointed. The sport has given me so much, and there was a major hockey event going on when this happened (HIL). And then there are a few big tournaments coming up before the all-important Olympics. So yes, I did feel let down, but what could I have done? There was nothing I could do. Jo aapke haath mein hai, wahi karte raho (Do only what is in your control).
But there's one thing I'd like to say now, and that is a big thank you to all the hockey lovers in the country who stood by me through all this. Hockey mere zehen mein hai (Hockey is in my conscience). And I promise till the time I am fit, I will play as hard for my country as I have in all these years. I want to get the glory days of Indian hockey back before I go.

People wrote you off before the start of the HIL and when you fetched a lower-than-expected prize at the auction. Do you look at the HIL triumph as an answer to your critics?HIL and when you fetched a lower-than-expected prize at the auction. Do you look at the HIL triumph as an answer to your critics?

(Laughs) Look, in this world, you will come across lots of different kind of people, each of them having their own mindset and thoughts. People will talk good about you, people will talk bad about you. But the only thing you can control is yourself, and how you can give your best on the field.

So yes, the HIL victory was really great. The day our team was announced, I was confident that we will finish on a high with the level of players that we had. Our focus was unmatched this season, and we only spoke about winning the tournament, nothing less than that. In the final, our body language stood out. We looked like a bunch of people hungry for the title.

Looking ahead, how was the team's national camp in Bengaluru after a long international break?

The good thing is that we have got a new pitch in Bengaluru, one that has the same turf as the Olympics. So that's a really positive thing for us, that both men and women are training on the same pitch. We have a good four-five months to make best use of this turf and train really hard. Other than that, the boys are improving with each passing day. Our coaches are focussing on minute details that often costs us in games, and are working hard on our skills. So this camp has been really good for us.

The Sultan Azlan Shah Cup starting today will be a key tournament to assess the team before the Olympics, isn't it?

It's a good tournament, where the world's best teams will participate. So we'll get to know our level before the Olympics, and where we stand in comparison to the best teams around the world. We'll also know the areas that we need to address as a team and individually. Our target in this tournament is to replicate and implement the strategies that we have worked with the coaches in this camp. We want to play good hockey, and stick to the plan. If we do that, the results will surely come.

But you have rested a few seniors players for the event. So how much are you focussing on the results and how much on testing the junior players?

The new players that have come in have been selected on the basis of their performances in the HIL. The likes of Harmanpreet (Singh), Harjeet (Singh) are doing really well in training as well. They do not give the felling that they are junior players, and even we appreciate them and their skills. They have a great chance in this tournament, because senior hockey is not very different from what they are playing right now in the juniors. But yes, there will be some pressure on them turning out for the senior team for the first time, but the experienced players will make sure it doesn't affect them.

It's only you who can fight such issues by talking to yourself and maintaining your inner peace and belief. I firmly believe that there's nobody else that can make you strong. It has to come from within. And that's what I did
—Sardar Singh, on how he fought back after rape allegations laid him low