Column

Everywhere in some parts of the world (you know what I mean), women will be moaning about the loss of their menfolk to the shenanigans of 22 flannelled fools on a cricket pitch fighting for 50 overs each to bring glory to themselves and their country. But this moaning is just a bit of fun really. Many women will be quite happy to get some time to themselves (and not all will be getting pedicures on a loop till April 2, as women’s magazine so kindly advise whenever the four-yearly football extravaganza happens).

Still, the whole world is not made up of women who cannot bear sport or are obsessed with spa treatment for their feet or indeed cannot survive for a few hours without some male attention.
And, there may be a small chance that not all men are obsessed with cricket either. So what happens to the rest of the universe while the cricket World Cup is on? I personally can take cricket in small doses — which is why the T20 format suits me just fine.

Also, I do not agree with the estimable George Bernard Shaw — though I quote him when it suits me — that cricket is all about flannelled fools. It’s not just because they don’t wear flannel any more but because at its highest, cricket is not a game for fools.

Yet, the idea of spending the next month and a half immersed in cricket is, without rising to hyperbole, terrifying. Let’s be realistic — every kind of media will be full of it. And a quick search through programme guides for all our various television sports channels suggests that apart from a tennis match here and a football game there, it’s pretty much cricket night and day. When they don’t play it, they will talk about it. And cricket being the kind of game it is — a way of life, a religion, a philosophy, a form of government, worthy of its own Upanishad — there’s a lot to talk about.

The tennis world, for instance, is all agog over the Dubai tournament that’s about to start next week — and not just because of the upcoming nuptials of Mahesh Bhupathi and Lara Dutta. The big names are all expected to be back in action and the question is, can newly crowned Australian Open champion Novak Djokovic maintain his winning form? Meanwhile, the rest of the sporting world has not come to a standstill because of the cricket World Cup either.

There’s golf in Florida with the Honda Classic where world No 1 Lee Westwood and reigning US Open champion Graeme McDowell will tee off (if that is what they do) as well as putt, eagle birdie par, blah blah. Then, there’s the Melbourne grand prix for India’s growing Formula 1 fans and all those sexy race car drivers — I’ll be honest, I don’t get it, but I admire their fervour. Of course, nowadays we are also taken with everything from American football (like why do I even know that the Green Bay Packers won the Superbowl!) to basketball to athletics to cheerleading (hey, this is serious stuff, no snickering).

And then, there’s always football. La Liga, Bundesliga, Premier Liga sorry League and whatever else. However, I have a feeling that football fans will get their way. I, together with legions of tennis fans, have got used to Wimbledon being ruined by the FIFA World Cup. But since football players regularly show up for tennis matches, I shall be gracious here. And thank god for the internet, where I can look for life beyond cricket by searching for live tennis online. Well hello, buffering in Dubai.

For the rest of you, I hope the fools do you proud!