I was 20-years-old when I started dating Pratik, who was a struggling but talented bassist and song-writer. The relationship was excellent. I was pursuing a liberal arts degree when I began seeing him. He’dput together a band and was trying for a break. I thought I was so lucky.
The first hint of trouble came when he began compromising studies for music. As a result, he failed his graduation and his angry parents threw him out. After this we decided to move into an apartment of our own. Knowing my conservative parents would never approve of my live-in relationship I did not tell them. To afford rent, I took up a part-time job and it was tough making ends meet. I did not expect him to work because of his music.
His increasingly unrealistic demands made me realise that this was a mistake. He expected me to do everything; I was managing college, a part-time job and all the chores at home. Yet he would complain that I did not have time for him. His music career had hit a rough patch and he started blaming me for it and said that I wasn’t being supportive.
He mentally abused me and gave me a hard time when things were not going right for him. He started drinking everyday and even started taking drugs. Whenever he was frustrated he would hit me.
Though I was taking a women studies course in college, I put up with the abuse as I was in denial and things would change for the better. After six long months of putting up with his emotional and physical abuse, his career eventually took off, but unfortunately so did he. He hooked up with another woman and dumped me. It has been six years now and I have had several other unsuccessful relationships but the abuse made it difficult for me to connect to anyone. I am pursuing a PhD now but I am through trying to have a relationship with another man.
(Name withheld on request)
—As told to Aditi Mallya
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