Men and women who behave generously towards their partners are likely to be happy in their marriage, says a study under the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project. Sometimes you may also end up making sacrifices for your spouse, but it is all worth it.Speak Up finds out how Pune couples keep the spark alive .
I make efforts to patch up with my husband after fights
I have realised over the years that other than generosity, trust and giving each other space are equally important to be happily married. I usually end up making efforts to patch up with my husband after the fights that we have. No matter how big the fight is, I want to be at peace with myself and my surroundings, so I take the first step. I can forgive but it takes longer for me to forget. Other than that, I like to surprise my husband. He usually does his own work, but once in a while I do his chores for him. I also try to cook his favourite food items as he is a big foodie.
Deepa Anikhinde, teacher
I appreciate my wife in the little things I do for her
I have completed 51 years of marriage and I agree that generosity does wonders. Especially since after my retirement, I have started helping out my wife. I take care of all the outdoor jobs like bank work and postal work so she does not need to worry about those matters. Whereas at home, I do little chores such as washing clothes with the help of a washing machine, ironing them and clearing the table after dinner. I enjoy doing these chores after all these years. When my wife and I start having a fight, I end up being quiet and let the matter settle down on its own. I appreciate my wife in the little things I do for her, and it has worked well for us in all these years.
Vishwanath Bhave, retired principal
In any relationship, you need to make adjustments
To make any marriage successful, both the partners need to be generous, kind, respectful and courteous to each other. You need to love and accept your partner the way they are. In any relationship, both the individuals need to be flexible and make adjustments to suit each other’s needs. The environment should basically be friendly at home. We do not have huge fights. The ones that we have get over quickly. Neither I nor my husband needs to apologise to each other. We simply take a step back, rethink and figure it out together. When it comes to expressing my affection for him, I don’t say it verbally, but through my behaviour. I know what his likes and dislikes are, so I try to respect those and work on them.
Anjali Kale, homemaker
Forgiveness strengthens a relationship and builds trust
Compromise is an essential component of any relationship. It enhances a relationship and generosity follows. Forgiveness strengthens and creates a strong bond, which helps build trust between one another. This leads to comfort and transparency in the marriage. It’s not that people who are generous do not fights or have disagreements, but the difference lies in not letting it affect your married life. I make up to my wife by surprising her with sudden visits to Bangalore, where she is currently staying. I also shower her with unique gifts, which she has not ever dreamt of.
Rajeev Babu, advocate
I make my wife happy by sending her roses and gifts
Whenever our relationship goes off track, I try to pacify my wife by speaking to her. I also try to patiently hear out whatever she has to say. We also watch all her favourite serials together. At times, I make her happy by remembering special occasions and send her roses and gifts. Generally on Sundays, I take her out for movies and visit malls. Sometimes I am sad when I see my huge credit card bills, but the smile and twinkle in her eyes makes me forget everything.
Sunil Bagul, building contractor
During weekends, we spend quality time with each other
Marriage is a very delicate bond between two people. I surprise my partner with by cooking his favourite delicacies. Sometimes I drop by his office and surprise him with a treat or a movie ticket. During weekends, we spend quality time with each other. Once in every two months, we organise a picnic or outstation trips to keep the chemistry intact. I also believe in forgiving and forgetting as holding on to mistakes will only make things worse and affect a relationship.
Alice Jaiswal, homemaker
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