Are we becoming an intolerant society?

On Wednesday in Navi Mumbai, a person stabbed his sister-in-law and later committed suicide. In Pune, a man stabbed his sister and then attempted suicide. DNA explores why individuals are turning into monsters.

 April 8, 2010
A commuter in a fit of rage hit a fellow traveller on the head with a bag containing electrical items, leaving him unconscious — all for a seat. Devendra Shukla boarded the luggage compartment of
a Bandra local from CST. As the train was chugging Reay Road, other commuter Ankur Padhi got into a heated argument over sharing a seat.

March 30, 2010
In Thane a 45-year-old retired navy man was arrested for killing his wife and 7-year-old daughter. Initially, the man tried to pass off the deaths as caused by an accident, but the police got clues suggesting he was the murderer. During interrogation, Rajesh confessed to his crime, saying he hit the two with a grindstone over a fight with his wife.

March 17, 2010
A man in his mid-20s was beaten so badly by a 35-year-old biker after his car hit the latter’s motorcycle that he was dead in a few hours. The incident occurred near Navbima sports mall, Narayan Nagar, Ghatkopar. When Javed Shaikh's car hit Aarif Ansari's bike, Ansari, pulled out Shaikh from his car and started assaulting him.

March 14, 2010
A tiff over cooking the day’s meal, led a daughter-in-law to allegedly strangulate her mother-in-law to death in Nalasopara. Vishal Samdiskar was married to Vishakha. Often, Vishakha and Nanda (Vishal’s mother) fought over petty issues. After an argument, Vishakha allegedly strangulated Nanda to death. Once Nanda was dead, Vishakha fled from the scene.

Expert view

Mismatch between expectation & reality
There is an increase in frustration and pressure which is  leading to aggression. Family members, workplace colleagues, school class mates and even co-travellers can be a target of the fury. There is basically a mismatch between expectation and reality. In the process of setting a standard for ourselves, we are missing out on the reality somewhere. We might not necessarily reach the set standards and this mismatch can lead to internalised or externalised aggression. Also aggression is not necessarily shown in the same environment, which causes it. For instance, if someone is angry with their boss at work, they may be nonchalant and then later indulge in rash driving or perhaps yell at someone else. So aggression is relocated to another individual or situation. Also there is an absolute lack of control on the impulsive behaviour.
—Dr. Jyoti Sangle, psychiatrist, Dr LH Hiranandani Hospital  

Deploy counsellors to assess employees
Employees have more aspirations and are restless to get success. Personal life and values have gone for a toss. There is a reckless chase for money and materialism. Many lower middle class families are moving higher on the social ladder. This also has side effects like peer pressure, materialistic outlook and have better luxuries. The diminishing joint family system has  left the newer generation devoid of human values. Comparisons and exposure to the media wherein normal lives are glamourised and made to look larger than life has prompted many to aspire for the dream world. It’s high time for employers to take charge and provide some platform wherein employees can have a satisfied work tenure. Deploying professional counsellors could be a good idea.
—Prasad Rajappan, founder & managing director, Cnergyis   

Aggression on field has positive aspects
In sports, people are well motivated and enjoy the game. They know how to keep their calm on the field. Even though players may have personal problems they don’t let it affect them. But sometimes we see some players become aggressive in the playground due to competitiveness. But in sports, rules and regulations are defined, so no one tries to break the rules because they know the consequences. Aggression on the field is not negative always, because players use it positively to attack the opposite team to secure a win. It’s not taken as personal rivalry. Many players are not affected by problems as stress and pressure to perform. If some players have a problem, there is a build-in mechanism team sports help in enhancing their motivation level and make them calm. It is possible because we have a captain, coach and others like physiatrist and a physician, who work as an organisation and care for everyone.
—Praveen Amre,  Mumbai cricket coach    

Undue exposure to violent games & films
C hildren are also becoming intolerant. Every now and then we hear of children indulging in some rash acts. There are various reasons why children are becoming so intolerant. Firstly upbringing can be a reason. Most live in a nuclear family setup, so these children mostly spend time alone and they are unable to adjust with a large number of people. Parents pamper children by giving them whatever they want. This instils arrogance among children. They are exposed to violent video games, movies, television programmes. This is quite dangerous as a child imbibes violent traits from such exposure. We don’t try to create a spirit of cooperation among children. Instead they are taught to compete and win at all costs. This attitude makes them impatient and aggressive when are in a competitive race.
—Manju Nichani, KC College principal


Shocking to find that kin are target of ire
Along with impatience, people have become intolerant and insensitive today. Cases of violence are on the rise, although aggression against one’s own kin and family is indeed sad and startling. Also many incidents reported recently, don’t seem carefully planned. They have occurred on the spur of the moment. Perhaps people are getting swayed by what they see in movies or read in hate literature and they seem to have no control over their emotions. Such bouts of violence are becoming increasingly common all over the world and not just in India. We have already witnessed violence against students in Australia. Even in the United States many incidents of firing inside campuses have been reported.   
—Maheshwar Toraskar, sales consultant

Many deny existence of psychiatric disorders
The incidents have occurred during the last few months are shocking. A person perpetrating violence against his family members was unheard of in the country. Women have been at the receiving end of torture since a long time. But these days inconsequential and trivial arguments and disputes have culminated into spreading of hatred and physical elimination. These days people are visiting counsellors and taking treatment. However, many people deny that they have any psychiatric problem and going to a physiatrist is looked down upon. Yoga is a technique, which will help people of all ages maintain their composure. I don’t think many people have realised the potential of yoga and meditation.   
—Pooja Jadhav, medical student

The huge generation gap breeds resentment
Youngsters are imitating the Western culture, hence family values are being sacrificed. Moreover now people become financially independent at an early age. In their early twenties, they don’t have exposure and experience of the outside world, which further increases the generation gap between them and their guardians. This is the root cause of differences between different members of the family. There are many other causes of aggression these days, but it’s our overall lifestyle which causes these behavioural patterns. There are several reasons why people are resorting to such rash action. The media needs to promote solutions rather than glorify the causes of such acts.           
 —Alpa Bhavsar, interior designer

Lack of opportunities can fuel adventurism
Life in major metropolitan cities of India has become really fast paced. Moreover, there is competition in every sphere. Not just adults, even children have been sucked into the rat race. With all the pressure that has build up, people vent their frustration mostly when they are with their family. They can’t vent all the stress when they are away from home. However the most trivial arguments can bring up an avalanche of emotions and anger that has been building up. The population of the city is growing at break-neck speed. Job opportunities and avenues of employment haven’t kept pace. The lack of opportunities can lead to frustration and recklessness.                                
—Rakesh Rajendran, PR professional

Limited family time creates suspicion
It is completely true that people are losing their temper very easily. This shows that they don’t have patience or any control over their emotions. Today we are living in the era of competition. This competitiveness breeds insecurity among the people which compels people to become aggressive and commit reckless acts. In extreme case, we see that the person is in deep depression and sometimes it leads to rash action. All this is increasing because quality time and free flow of communication among families, friends, and colleagues is reducing. We don’t have enough time to meet or sit with our family members and start a conversation and share our problems.            
—Manisha Keshwa, consultant

A family should encourage communication
It is quite visible everywhere that people become aggressive and resort to violence in small matters. It doesn’t matter whether people are at home, in office or is a public place, people are not ashamed of indulging in rash acts. Insecurity among the people, all the time, makes them unfaithful towards each other. People don’t want to trust anybody; even for small mistakes they are unable to tolerate the things. Moreover we are losing the culture of open communication, in our own family, due to lack of time. This creates misunderstanding which further leads to altercation. It is very important that family members don’t stop sharing their thoughts.
—Navneet Kaur, journalist