Rujuta Diwekar's Pregnancy Notes come with a good dose of feminism

Celebrity nutritionist, Rujuta Diwekar's latest book Pregnancy Notes is not merely about recipes and workouts regimes, but offers a holistic approach to pursue before, during and after pregnancy. There are tasks for husbands to take on too. She talks to Pooja Bhula about the ingredient of feminism that flavours the book in direct and subtle ways. Excerpts from the interview:

You’ve weaved a lot of feminism into the book. Was that conscious?

Writing is about self expression, so relationships and life itself find their way to the book. We'd like to live in a gender neutral world – that's the UN's view of the future and was also the vision of our Upanishads. So if our present is not aligned to it, we must take steps towards it.

Then throughout the book, except in one chapter, you refer to the baby as ‘her’, the female gender. What’s the reason?

The same reason that we refer to babies as he. In the last chapter it's 'she' at some places and 'he' in others, especially when I refer to Taimur because boys are generally referred to as he. But surely there will be a gender neutral term for that too soon.  

Career advice on being 'dignified' about quitting work post pregnancy is not something one expects in a book on health and dietary practices, aimed at pregnant women.

Health is not about body weight and a skinny waist, and food is not about carbohydrates, proteins and fat. Culture, history, politics, and even our social fabric play a role in our choice of food, level of activity and impact on our well-being. There are pregnant women who want jobs, but are considered unemployable or looked at by teams as time bombs, and there also those who want to dump their jobs post the maternity leave. We have to keep both ends of the bargain. It's a healthy practice.

Post delivery, the newborn tends to be the focus. Any women-centric aspects that require attention?

It's natural for children to become the centre of attention, but we shouldn't neglect ourselves in the process. Rest and recovery are often the most compromised. If we build an ecosystem where women can rest, have some time to themselves to just read or workout with a sense of security that the baby is in safe hands, then we'll have mothers who are happy and energetic, not tired and guilty. As a society, we owe them that.

The most common complaints and mixed advice your pregnant clients get?

Mostly, it's related to exercise or foods such as pickles and certain fruits – easy to resolve over a conversation or WhatsApp chat. The ones that women fight an internal battle over are about career moves, gender roles and simply the right to sleep after feeding the baby.

You've alluded to tradition often. Can you share some best practices and obsolete beliefs regarding the mother-to-be?

Ghee and laddoos are the good part and common across the country. The bad part, a fairly recent development, is to limit our identity to being just mothers, only to go through the whole empty nest syndrome 20 years later.

Why do you consider the balantini chi kholi and 40 days of solitude as being a protective guard for pregnant women. Is it not restrictive and even inadvisable considering many women face post-partum depression?

The balantini chi kholi is not so much solitude as much as it is about having space to yourself. At least in Maharashtra, it's next to the kitchen and opens to the central courtyard of the house. That way, as a new mother you can get entertained by all that's happening around and retreat to your room when you've had enough. A dark room also meant you could sleep and wake up according to the baby's schedule and 40 days because I'm guessing our grandmoms observed that it took those many days for babies to fall into their feed-potty-sleep routine.

The kholi also allows for self contemplation, you say. But that can be done anytime, no?

We can contemplate about ourselves anytime, but most of us do it never. The very idea of being by ourselves is scary for most people, so the earlier one starts, the better.

You say that mens’s lethargy, stress, obesity, etc. impact conception and pregnancy, but they are generally ignored. Can you explain how and why?

These things affect the hormonal status, especially insulin sensitivity. It gets ignored as pregnancy is 100 per cent borne by women. But how smooth the pregnancy is and how quickly women get back in shape after delivery, is also affected by the man's health. The solution is an awareness of biases and the need for healthy lifestyle choices.

Can deficient nutrition and lack of fitness cause infertility in men?

Yes. Smoking, for example, and its effect on sperm quality has been widely studied and documented. Low levels of Vit D and poor conception rate is also well recorded.

Apart from some cooking and chores, what else must husbands do during pregnancy and post delivery?

Every role that is fit for an adult and parent. Parenting is a full time job, we have full-time mothers, so it's only appropriate to expect full-time fathers.