The mystery of chemistry

Chemistry works in mysterious ways. I never quite understood it in my seventh standard when I routinely flunked my chemistry exams by a margin of 2 and half to 40. And I do not understand even now, even though I make half a living writing about it. 

The other day, I was reading about an extraordinary woman who suffers from cerebral palsy. She has been fighting and winning many battles in her life against corporates, institutes and individuals, and recently made headlines when she adopted a child. 

In a casual chat with the journalist who broke her inspiring story, what seemed to pique our collective curiosity was the nature of her relationship with her husband, who is an able-bodied man. A senior bank officer, he has been a pillar of strength for his wife, who is a tireless disability rights activist. I would hate to believe that the husband, a thorough gentleman according to those who have met him, married his girlfriend out of a sense of moral obligation alone. 

How does it work between a couple when one is able bodied and the other isn’t? How does chemistry, that we take for granted in a conventional relationship, work in this case? Does affection and a deeper human empathy override chemistry in a conventional coupling?

The thought recurred while watching Sacred Games. One of the most tender moments in the series is between the gangster Ganesh Gaitonde and his lover, Kukoo. Despite the searing chemistry, and the lust that brings them together, things get complicated once Gaitonde discovers Kukoo is a transgender person. Clearly, it is no longer just about chemistry because he is already too emotionally invested in the relationship to back out.  

Relationships work in mysterious ways. Love and lust are always playing hop scotch with our lives. Our bodies. There are men who are in a relationship with transgender women. To label them as kinky, perverts would be doing a disservice to their love that thrives on the odds. Just as I refuse to believe every person who is married or has a relationship with someone with any form disability, is seeking greater glory. 

Even as I grapple with the answers, I am wary of flunking yet another chemistry test.

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