Of chicks and roosters

A feisty 21-year-old woman I know, and admire, was in the news recently for speaking up against sexual harassment at the workplace. It must have been extremely difficult for her — because I know how she was emotionally invested in the literary project that the sexual predator was spear heading. And I know her to be someone who is always full of empathy and 100 per cent committed to whatever she is doing. 

Her experience was harrowing. And it is no different from what another friend of mine goes through routinely. At 41, she is a tech wiz who heads a retail organisation. Her role often has her in boardrooms where alpha males steer the narrative. And she finds herself sitting through what she says is “extremely offensive locker room chatter”. Sometimes, she says, it is almost as if she was invisible, the men seem so oblivious to her presence. 

Or maybe, she wonders, it is done by design. “It is almost like a code — you either speak the language or you are disqualified.” I have had a similar experience with a male colleague some years ago, who used to share details of his sexual exploits with his colleagues, including women. Once again, I was often the sole woman in the group of boys.  

Why is that some of the finest minds, sharpest wits and so-called geniuses think it is all right to talk dirty ‘to’ their female colleagues? Lack of gender sensitisation or an advanced form of sexual harassment? 

I think it is both. And more. I think at every work place, men should take offence to their male colleagues who speak of women in a sexual and disparaging way. Especially when it is in a formal setting, an official venue, in the presence of other colleagues. No one really cares if two men talk about ‘that chick on the third floor’ while they take a piddle. But ‘that chick on the third floor’ is not acceptable when there are others around. 

This kind of banter is so much a part of our lives that sometimes it turns into a blind spot. For instance, single women are often the butt of jokes — because if they somehow lose their cool, it is because ‘they need to get laid’ 
Women who dress in a certain way are ‘tarts’. And those who speak out are ‘bitches’. Someone who has many male friends ‘jumps from bed post to bed post’. Funnily enough, if a guy is caught in the act, there seems to be a trophy for being spotted ‘pants down.’ Young, women are ‘chicks’ and ‘hot’ is the word for attractive.

Some of the successful professionals I know tell me that the key to surviving this is de-sexualising yourself. Some dress up in matronly clothes, others take on a severe disposition. Unfortunately, even in the most evolved workplaces in the country, any woman in skirts, high heels or a dress with a modest slit or a daring neckline is — to borrow a term from my brethren — hot property.

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