India is not so gay after all

We cheered and welcomed the Israeli couple and their baby, but denounce our very own gay community as criminals. Hypocrisy rules at every level

I am sure many readers will say, there she goes criticising the Indian attitude again…yes aren't we hypocritical?

All I am asking is why we're cheering the Israeli couple who came to India to adopt a surrogate baby. Now why did they come to India? The Israeli couple said they did research and found out that only in India and US are surrogate babies possible. It is cheaper to get surrogate babies in India with far fewer formalities, etc.

If it was an Indian gay couple, they would have been denounced by child rights groups and hospital authorities, and their case would have been reported to the police. Not in the case of the Israelis, for them we bend backwards, and we still suffer from the white skin complex. The whites are superior and we should obey them, even mend our rules for them, but not for our own people.

In this country, the gay community does not even have a proper representation. They are as vital to our society as are the elite, the politicians. The gay community is not protected. The reason I say this is that when Mumbai city had its Pride parade a few months ago, the leading Right-wing parties threatened to disrupt it. The party had alleged that the gay community would 'harm' the rest of society.

Well, this is the popular notion that many harbour. Gays are weird, unnatural, not normal etc, etc. The other allegation is that they will harm our 'Indian' culture. Humans have evolved - from apes, no less - and like our 'animal' ancestors we have relations between the same gender and the opposite too. It is ONLY because of our conditioning and social pressure that people are believed to have stuck to 'normal' sexual patterns.

So why are we surprised when someone says they are gay, or when activists ask us to accept gays as a legal community.

Are Indians not always in possession of double standards? We Indians are so accustomed to it, that we forget the truth.

The gay community in this country is hated and called criminals: Thanks to the most regressive law this country has, Article 377. This controversy erupted due to a public litigation filed in 2001 challenging the legality of Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, which bans sexual relations among people of the same gender, and considers it 'unnatural'. Our dear Patil, from Maharashtra, has termed homosexuality a criminal offence.

Well, that is the basis of the famous fight between our Central Home Minister, Shivraj Patil - who has a fetish for changing clothes frequently in a day - and our health boss Ramadoss. I do not think Ramadoss is a saint.

However, in the fight to recognise the gay community, I totally support him. Ramadoss is simply saying accept the gay community, so that we can arrest the growing problem of HIV and Aids. But our dear Home Minister will never concede, especially to a view that will change the dynamics of power, and politics.

We need to actually address a serious health problem. This disease has NOT only affected the gay community, but it has in fact affected the 'normal' humans too. By not protecting our own citizens, we are denying them a right to live. We have a constitution that says all citizens should be protected.

The other point critics have been raising is that Indian culture and people are getting adversely influenced by the West. Now if we go by this statement, I recall a senior journalist (whose identity I want to protect) and a leading gay-activist-cum-spokesperson who has said that many Hindu organisations - wherein members are asked not to marry - do indulge in sex with the same gender. This too has been part of our culture.

At this rate we will only have more people going into the closet. The side effect of our hypocrisy is worse still. Gays are made the butt of jokes in many Indian homes, their personal lives are dissected in our living rooms, and now even  children are aware of the gay community, in a negative way.

The fear in every parent may be justified, but if parents proudly tell us journalists they do not mind their children's 'friends' sleeping over for the night, I am sure it is safer to accept the gay community and their needs.

They too are human; they too have feelings as we all do. I am also sure they will make good parents. I know of a lesbian couple that has adopted a child, and they are fulfilling all their duties like any normal couple, even though they keep facing taunts from various sections of society.

Interestingly, the more educated the person, the more issues they have. Even in a city like Mumbai where a person can remain anonymous, neighbours seem curious and love gossiping. I am sure most have read the Israeli couple's story and have commented on how so sweet and happy they look. I only wish we were so open and accepting with our own fellow Indians.
k_neeta@dnaindia.net