In this crisis, no quarter’s given

Forget the mid-life crisis, there's a new demon on the loose…the quarter life crisis

Move over mid-life crisis, you're de rigueur. Quarter life crisis is the kid on the block to watch out for, and the young in Mumbai are struggling under its shadow. When Abby Wilner coined the term in 1997, she referred to restless 20-somethings who seemed to be confused about the choices made in life.

"This is so true… I have a job, and I have an offer in my pocket for another that pays way more and offers me something that I want to do… but I still cannot decide whether I should take it ... how confused can I be??", reads a post by Dhaval Patel on Facebook, the popular social networking site. On Facebook, you will find 4,500 members formed into 135 groups that discuss quarter life crisis.

Commonly associated with people between the ages of 21 and 29, quarter life crisis is often marked by insecurity, loneliness and confused notions of identity. Often, there's a yearning to reunite with college friends. For those who haven't made the cut in terms of money or career, it suggests a need for financial independence.

In this phase, people are constantly seeking — chalking out careers, trying to build oneself as a brand, entering into new relationships, sustaining existing ones, or dodging the pressure to tie the knot. 

 "A lot of people in their 20s coming to me discuss their careers, parents and relationships," says Dr Harish Shetty, psychiatrist at Dr LH Hiranandani Hospital. He believes that at the root of the problem is the desire to achieve goals in double quick time. Youngsters want better designations, good appraisals and a quick corporate climb, all at one go.

Says Shikha Pandey, 23, who lives by herself in Mumbai, and works with a television channel: "Financial independence is crucial for me now. I get stressed, but I also feel that if I am not stressed at this age there's something wrong with me."

Shailesh Prabhu is a 25-year-old videogame designer whose career was going nowhere. At present, he is working to build his own studio. To Prabhu, financial independence is top priority. "It is frustrating to be 25 and not earning. You are permanently in debt," he says. Though he claims to have decided on his future plans, he finds the journey slow and frustrating.

Metronirvana, an organisation that conducts workshops to relieve corporates and private individuals of stress-related ailments, has started offering workshops to deal with quarter life crisis. Says Vikram, a wellness coach with Metronirvana: "Surprisingly, many of our clients seem to be in the middle of quarter life crises."

Relationships are another area of concern, since many couples are working long hours and are not able to invest much in their relationships. "They like easy money and easy power. They also think relationships come easy and this is where they suffer a huge blow," Vikram says.

Besides, the education offered in schools and colleges doesn't necessarily get people the jobs they want. In the bargain they settle for other jobs, which adds to their frustration.
Materialism, too, does its bit. "Marketing strategies promote consumerism, sort of coercing youngsters to buy the latest mobiles and laptops," says Dr Lata Narayan, associate professor of the school of social work at the Tata Institute of Social Sciences.

Khurshid Kanga of Metronirvana, who counsels people going through quarter life crises says that some are aware of the term but don't understand it in its context. According to her, those who face such a crisis are generally confused and do not know what to do with their lives. They could also have been affected by a failed relationship.

However, perception of the crisis is subjective, and depends on the individual. Divya Agasty, 24, a team coach with the insurance unit of HDFC, is one such example, claiming that she is happy with her work and life. "I have chosen to be here and I wouldn't change it for anything else."

a_humaira@dnaindia.net