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Does virginity matter?

Virginity before marriage is still important for Indians. It depends on a person's upbringing and exposure to different cultures, says Anumita Ghosh.

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It’s an outdated concept
Today, women are as independent as men.It has never been an issue with me and I don't think the man who loves me is concerned with my virginity. Reconstructing the hymen through a surgery to please a man is really silly. This is a regressive view.

Women shouldn’t ever fall for a guy who says he wants a virgin for his wife. She’s bound to end up in misery. Virginity is a concept, which does not matter at all in today’s day and age.

Indian culture has lived with dowry deaths for decades. If the culture can accept that, then an issue like virginity can't be against Indian culture. If the only criterion to make the marriage work is being a virgin, why do we have so many divorces?
Pretty Mirchandani

Don’t expect virgin spouse
Virginity, as a concept, is all about male chauvinism. It's loaded against women and is just a notion men are trying to impose on them. It's a part of a system of oppression, which uses devices such as the mangalsutra to affirm dominance.

Ideally, women shouldn't opt for degrading procedures like hymenoplasty. However, given the mindset of the Indian male, the procedure could go a long way in ensuring marital bliss. But, if two people are close enough, sexual histories don't matter. In metros today, we are meeting a lot more people.

A lot of them seem attractive, and in some cases the expression of love is physical. It's unreasonable for people to expect their spouses to be virgins. That's asking for too much.
Arun Bhatt

It’s still very important
We have adopted western culture. But I think virginity before marriage is still important for many Indians. It depends on a person's upbringing and his exposure to different cultures.

A boy from an open-minded Indian family may not want a virgin wife.  But I think that many Indian families still believe pre-marital sex is taboo. There are still many who expect their spouse to be a virgin.

Hymenoplasty is just another way of telling a lie. So I think it is a bad idea. Most youngsters are confused and may not understand the importance of virginity today. At the end of the day, it’s a personal choice.
Anumita Ghosh

Why not question men?
It's difficult to know whether a person is virgin or not. There's no guarantee, which is why we perform background checks before marriage. In South India, we prefer to get brides from decent families.

But virginity shouldn't be such a big issue. These days, girls lead very active lives and the absence of hymen doesn't necessarily indicate a sexual history. When we talk of virginity we must also talk of men. There are men who get tired of eating home food and occasionally opt for fast food. That's wrong, but there's no one to correct them.

Not being a virgin should be okay. I don't think we have too much choice given the lifestyle today. Since we can't change things, we must learn to accept them.
CK Subramaniam

Bride should be a virgin
Virginity is a value to be preserved. Globalisation is the new trend, but traditions should be followed. Pre-marital sex cannot be accepted by Indian society.

A bride should be a virgin when she is handed over to her husband. It is not a good sign to see young Indian girls becoming pregnant. There is an age and time for everything and self-restraint is the best way to avoid pregnancy.

Virginity is not only restricted to women. Both men and women should abstain from sex before marriage, as it is a part of Indian culture. It may be a man's world but they should learn to think on the same lines as women.

We should only ape the good things from the West and leave out the rest.
Rashika Varizrani

Save virginity till marriage
To preserve virginity or not is a personal decision. I have no issues with people who choose to have sex before marriage. But it isn't in keeping with my beliefs and value system. For me, it's unethical. I feel it's very important to preserve virginity till marriage.

I'd prefer if my wife has no sexual history, though it isn't the most important consideration. Indian culture frowns upon people who lose virginity before marriage and we must respect the mores of the society we live in.

We are getting increasingly Westernised and therefore, increasingly, promiscuous. But it's not something we can control. Given a choice, I would make sure people abstain from sex before marriage.
Ashwin Tahiliani

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