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| Edited By: Malavika Sangghvi |Source: |Updated: Nov 19, 2013, 11:17 PM IST
“I am on the Britney Spears’ vodka diet,” announced my mother to me early this morning “and I’ve already lost 5 kilos. Why don’t you go on it too?”
My mother as you may know by now, reads five newspapers every day and watches as many TV news channels, and is often an impeccable source for news on newsmakers. But the Britney Spears’ vodka diet sounded a bit dodgy even by her standards.
So I said no mum, I am sure Britney Spears’ Vodka diet has worked in many cases, but I have a feeling it will be recommended by no one besides, perhaps her friend Paris Hilton.
I don’t think I or you should be following it.
“OK have it your way, but why don’t you get a dog like Tavleen Singh so that you too can show civil disobedience to Johnny Joseph and all those silly chaps in the BMC who are making A ward citizens pick up their doggy poo? Look how brave Tavleen Singh looks.”
Mum, I am sure Tavleen’s issue with Johnny Joseph has more to it than meets the eye, and yes she is very brave to take up civil disobedience against the BMC in this manner, but if I wanted a dog, I would get one for that reason and not for the sake of becoming a conscientious objector on Marine Drive.
“OK, but if you won’t get a dog or go on Britney Spears’ vodka diet, why don’t you at least adopt a Malawian baby like Madonna? Everyone seems to be adopting foreign babies except you.”
Mum, I am sure Madonna has a good reason to adopt a Malawian baby, and though I have nothing against adoption or foreign babies, I have quite enough on my hands looking after my Indian child as it is, I said.
“OK have it your way, but why don’t you at least start an NGO like your friend Rahul Bose, so you too can be interviewed by newspapers and TV channels about it?”
Mum, Rahul Bose has not started an NGO to get interviewed about it, he is working very hard in the Andamans saving the villagers and putting tsunami victims in school. It is a very commendable cause and though I support it I don’t think I could start an NGO just now.
“At least then will you put in a bid for Hutchinson Essar? Every second minute a new person is putting in a bid, and you are looking as if you are completely left out of the whole process.”
Yes I know mum, I said, the Hutchinson bid seems to be the biggest story, and bidders are crawling out of the wood work even as we speak, but as you very well know I am a poor journalist and do not have the $18—19 billion to offer.
“What difference does that make?” said my mother. “Neither do most of the other bidders!”
