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In the old days, if you ever went to Kharagpur, people never failed to tell you that they have the longest railway platform in the world. Even as a child, you realise quite fast that “owning” the world’s longest platform does not really add anything substantial to your life. No disrespect meant to the good people of Kharagpur (then, maybe not now any more) but really, what does it matter?

Similarly, when I lived in Ahmedabad for almost four years, people always pointed out to me the world’s longest bridge, the tallest building and so on. I could find little truth or justification in these strange reasons for pride. I indeed thought there were many more things to be proud of.

But I must be wrong. Because it is in absolutes that we feel the happiest, even if they seem to reveal our worst insecurities. And, it must be said, our friends in the BJP have perfected the art of hyperbole. Manmohan Singh is India’s “weakest” prime minister? No kidding? Weaker than like HD Deve Gowda or IK Gujral? Or the tiny little flirtations that Charan Singh and Chandrashekhar had with the top chair?

Or how about the Indian Premier League being shifted out of India to South Africa being a “matter of national shame”. Really? A cricket tournament which is just one year old, yet to establish itself in the hearts and minds of Indians? A form of cricket which purists consider might not even be cricket? A shame that it’s gone away? Certainly. A pity that the dates clashed with the general elections? Sure. Too bad that they didn’t cancel or postpone the elections for a Twenty20 tourney? Well, I’ll sit on the fence on that one. But national shame? When the Indian hockey team didn’t even qualify for the Beijing Olympics, now that was a national shame.

And as for the BJP, let’s look outside the sporting arena and try and identify a few shameless and shameful events. P Chidambaram, the Union home minister, referred to the Gujarat riots of 2002. But I’m not going there. Mainly because I was there: national shame doesn’t quite cover the horror.

But how about the attack on Parliament in 2001? That was quite bad, wasn’t it? These Lashkar-e-Taiba terrorists attacking the very symbol of our democracy? No, no, the BJP was in power then so that’s not a matter of national shame. It is the failure of the UPA government to hang Afzal Guru that is a matter of national shame. As for the attack itself, well, c’est la vie, terrorism happens to all of us?

I’m not going to mention the Babri Masjid demolition either. I don’t think that was a shame as much as a catastrophe, when you consider the horror it has unleashed on India ever since. The hijacking of flight 814 in 1999 was bad enough. But the subsequent release of those terrorists — some of whom surely went on to become part of the 9/11 plot and also killed Daniel Pearl in Pakistan? — that was a bit of a downer. The Union minister for external affairs escorting terrorists to the border for their safe release? I felt a bit of national shame then.

That’s the trouble with us lib, sec, sorry “sickular” types. You see, it’s our country too. And we feel a fair bit of national shame every now and then. Had any untoward incident happened had the IPL been held during the elections, now that would have been a matter of national shame. Or more likely, international shame.

And that’s where you feel that Chidambaram got it a bit wrong. The Gujarat riots were a bit of international shame, pardon me for mentioning this, since Narendra Modi has found it a little tough to get a visa to the US ever since.

And now, before our friends of the hyperbolic party get upset, yes, the Emergency was a national shame and the anti-Sikh riots were a national shame. The BJP, it must be said, was not responsible for either. But surely you will admit, they’re bit prone to exaggeration?